The Keys of
Happiness

Are you happy? Why are some people happy and others not? Is there a point to life? Is it worth all the effort? Is absolute truth a real thing, or is everything relative? How do you find truth? How do you know what to do with your life? What's the value of religion? How far should science be trusted? Can people be trusted? Is there any idea that could provide universal common ground? What would it actually take to achieve world [or even personal] peace?

At present, there are more than eight billion of us struggling with difficult questions like those, and in our efforts to work them out we drown ourselves in a rising sea of ideas—some entertaining, informative, or inspiring, and others extreme, emotional, or complete nonsense. Some of them can seem true at first, but don't stand up to logic, survive the test of time, or acknowledge exceptions. Even real truths are often isolated, individual nuggets of thought—cat posters, trite phrases, dead-end metaphors, and single-use slogans—rather than connected pieces in a larger picture.

At some point you graduate from those motivational cat posters and start considering the broader perspective. You begin to wonder what's actually true, and how those truths connect. If I've done it right, this book will describe the larger picture clearly enough for you to recognize where your collection of truths fits in.

This is a book about happiness, and you'd be justified in asking what qualifies me to tell anyone else how to be happy, but I'll consider myself justified in not answering that question, because this isn't a book about me or my opinions (if it were, it would be significantly longer). I'm keenly aware of the arrogance of writing a book like this, so I've tried to keep myself out of it. I don't need anyone to understand me, but it will benefit you to know what I know.

The world's current degree of misery proves that the principles in this book are poorly understood and desperately needed. They do pop up in bits and pieces here and there, but it's the general lack of awareness of the complete picture that concerns me—the fact that so many people are unhappy and don't appear to understand why.

Not having ever come across these ideas collected and organized logically, plainly, and succinctly, it seemed like something meaningful I could contribute. I don't pretend to have invented all these ideas, and I didn't even plan for most of you to read this. It was meant only for my family.

This book is essentially a collection of the most meaningful truths life has taught me—the reward of decades of difficulty and reflection. I was concerned I wouldn't remember it all, so I started writing, mostly for my own benefit. Then, seeing the unique value of those ideas when laid out and organized, I decided to turn it into something I could leave to my family, and by the time that was done, it was clearly of use (and hopefully value) to anyone.

This may not be an entertaining read, in the typical sense. It's not a novel, or your usual collection of inspirational stories, optimistic mantras, or supposed life hacks, and I hope it won't be seen as a philosophical thesis, either. This is a book about principles, which might sound a bit dry at first, but they're the framework of life—the logic behind happiness, and the why of everything. They're the most valuable kind of knowledge, but they take time end effort to understand and apply. This is the foundation. It's what you need to know first. And it's meant for those who crave happiness and truth, and are willing to open their minds and to change.

As books go, this one isn't very long, thanks to it containing only what I actually understand. Admittedly, the first chapter is a bit of a marathon, but it's critical to understanding the rest of the book, so hang in there.

And we'll start with a poem.

Happiness is the purpose and highest state of life, the fundamental goal of humanity, and the natural result of truth and virtue. That may sound obvious, but it's not enough to know or even agree with the idea—at least, not if the goal is to actually increase your degree of happiness. For that, you need to understand and feel that concept in all its important nuance (exceptions included). Hence, the rest of this book.

There is method in the madness of life, and a simple, beautiful logic to the natural laws of happiness. If you aren't as happy as you'd like to be, this can help you understand why, and what to do about it. It may not make your problems go away, but it will help you understand how to achieve happiness in spite of them—and to some extent, because of them. First, you need to understand what happiness is, which starts with life itself.

Life

What makes you alive? What distinguishes life from something dead or inert? Think about that for a bit and you'll probably arrive at some version of "organized, self-directed, self-perpetuating, energetic growth." These are some of the most basic and common traits of life, from single-celled organisms to complex, intelligent species. They take in energy, perform specific functions in a self-directed, self-motivated way, and usually reproduce. More often than not, they're connected to other forms of life—both taking and giving. They change, both individually and as a species, and usually die. And even their death and decay provides the conditions necessary for new life.

Atoms, minerals, planets and stars, viruses, and even human inventions do some of that, and it's helpful to view life as a spectrum rather than on or off—a range of organization, complexity, connectedness, self-motivation, growth, reproduction, and cognition that starts with inert matter on one end, moving up to the most conscious and intelligent beings on the other. As you ascend that spectrum of life those attributes increase—as well as a purpose to justify the higher state of energy and use of resources.

Purpose

Cells would have no justification for living and consuming the resources they do without a constructive purpose. The same goes for the structures, tissues, and organs those cells create, as well as the being to whom they belong. Function and purpose justify complexity and use of resources.

All life on this planet fits into some ecosystem: a specific environment with resources that preserve life and allow individuals to fulfill a purpose that contributes back to the system. Life almost always gives more than it takes, and is more than the sum of its parts. This "circle of life" symbiosis gives us a very simple sort of value and place in the world.

Like plants that grow toward the light that gives them energy, intelligence appears to have produced an intrinsic pull in humans toward our most energizing motivation—something more meaningful than our natural function of predator, prey, or fertilizer. Consciousness makes us aware that we're alive, aware of our state of being, and capable of thinking beyond survival. Conscious, rational beings require purpose and meaning—to understand why (and anyone with a toddler can tell you that half-conscious, irrational beings also want to know "why"). That motivation is happiness. And there's a reason.

Happiness

To understand real happiness, start with something more familiar: misery. When someone is miserable, what does that look like? What happens when you experience absolute hopelessness, despair, guilt, worthlessness, and anxiety? We usually pull inward, away from others, lose our motivation to do anything, feel overwhelmed, close out the world, and surrender to a crushing, paralyzing, numbing inner oppression that seems inescapable. We become resistant to love or logic, sinking into a hole of reckless self-loathing. Life is organization, self-motivation, energy, and growth. Misery is chaotic, apathetic, tired self-destruction. Suicide is evidence of this, and highlights an important truth: that many of us would rather die than live in misery—that happiness is even more important than survival, and misery is worse than death.

Misery is the feeling of stagnation or regression (destruction). Now, think about happiness—not just fun or pleasure, but the most real and powerful kind of happiness. What does it feel like? It's a deep, lasting, positive, productive, peaceful, trusting, clear-thinking, energizing motivation that draws our minds outward, forward, and upward—to other people, to the future, and to greater awareness. It makes us focused and present and hopeful. It's a state of self-perpetuating, powerful, resilient growth that unites, organizes, and strengthens. Does that sound familiar? It should, because it mirrors life's own definition: organized, self-directed, energetic growth. Happiness is the point of life because, very literally, happiness is life, in its ideal state. Happiness is the feeling of life (growth or progress).

Consciousness makes us aware that we're alive, as well as how alive we are. We're hungry when we're not fully fed. We're thirsty when not fully hydrated. And we're unhappy when we're not fully alive. Again, life is not just on or off—it's a gradient. We don't crave "barely alive." We crave real, complete happiness.

If you ask someone why they did something, then why they did that, and follow the chain of logic long enough, your [kind of childish] interrogation will always end up in the same place. Conscious or not, effective or not, it will always have been an attempt at happiness. Happiness is the reason we want to preserve life, or do anything.

Even though we all want it, we don't automatically know what it is, or what it feels like (never having been satisfied doesn't stop you from feeling hungry). We can get off track, and settle for less than we should. Some of that misunderstanding comes from how we use the word itself:

"Happy Birthday!"

"Happy New Year!"

"A happy medium"

"Put on a happy face"

"Happy hour"

"Happy-go-lucky"

"The happiest place on earth"

The result of over- or mis-using a word is that it muddies the concept. Perhaps we say the word "happy" so much because we want it to seem more attainable or easier to give, but there's an actual risk: that we think it's nothing more than the shallow, temporary thing implied by those phrases—something we can buy, visit, give, or that will happen to us.

In the case of happiness, ignorance isn't bliss. It's better to be a little unhappy but know there's more than to settle for shallow happiness because we don't know or believe there's anything better. True happiness—though less common than it should be—is real, deeply satisfying, and generally within reach.

Because happiness is a state of being, you can't be made fully happy (or unhappy) by someone else. Excited, maybe. Frustrated, uncomfortable, or sad? Definitely. But happiness is most affected by our own choices—by what we choose to do and be.

How a person treats others is the simplest way to know how happy they are. Those who are happy wish the same for others, and those who are miserable usually wish misery on others. Ignore what people have and look at how they behave. Those who are unkind are also unhappy.

Like flight, happiness is an elevated state available to anyone who follows the laws associated with it, possible even with life's many downward and turbulent forces. The natural laws of happiness are almost entirely based on two principles: Truth and Virtue.

–

Truth

Reality is everything as it was, is, and will be. Truth is an accurate description of reality, which means it's unchangeable and absolute. Knowledge is awareness of truth. Perception, opinions, thoughts and ideas, imagination, and beliefs are not necessarily truth, and they don't change truth—they simply align with it, or not.

Life depends on truth. To survive and thrive we have to be aware of ourselves and our surroundings, what affects us, and the impact of our actions. Without truth, we're flying blind. Truth lets us improve and predict our outcomes. It informs every decision we make.

What we know is the result of what we've been taught and have experienced. Every new experience is a kind of awakening to some truth, and every bit of knowledge makes us more capable of growth. At birth we know little, but we learn quickly. That learning eventually slows, thanks to a brain increasingly less open to new information, the limitations of our senses, a growing set of assumptions and opinions, over-confidence and a tendency toward pride, and fewer new experiences.

With the ability to communicate comes one of the crown jewels of intelligence: teaching. It's one of life's most amazing efficiencies—that one person can share with many others (at the same time) the lessons learned from individual experience. We don't have to experience what they did to learn what they learned, so we can quickly absorb many lifetimes' worth of distilled truth through nurture, conversation, education, churches, books, and other media. However, that's all based on an assumption of accuracy and trustworthiness (truth and virtue). Inevitably, some of that information will prove to be false, and some of the sources unreliable.

Sight and Perception

Once we've been mislead or misinformed we learn that information is not always truth. We start to doubt—to believe only what we experience, or understand—and that costs us most of the benefit of human intelligence, communication, and society. Some trust only what they can see for themselves, and while that could seem reasonable—maybe even necessary in a sea of misinformation—it's far less wise than it might sound. Sight is certainly useful, but also severely limited. Consider:

1. Most of reality isn't visible. The vast majority of what affects our daily life—that makes up the universe—isn't visible to us. Between dark matter, anti-matter, transparent matter (like the air around us), quantum states, dimensions, forces (like gravity, magnetism, and atomic bonds), atomic components too small to be observable, and the increasingly massive scale of the universe, we won't see in our lifetime more than a tiny fraction of a percent of what actually exists.
2. Eyes (and brains) aren't perfect. Sight relies on eyes, and eyes rely on notoriously defective structures* and relatively few photons that happen to wobble directly into our tiny pupils. Understanding what we see is limited both by our imperfect eyes and our mental capacity to process the information they provide. The result being that even what we do see isn't complete, properly understood, or fully reliable.
   * About 10% of us are color blind and a similar percentage are visually impaired, about 70% of us end up needing glasses, and 100% of us can't see outside a narrow slice of the electromagnetic spectrum. Other animals can do far better.

Sight doesn't guarantee understanding, and not seeing doesn't guarantee ignorance (or non-existence). Truth is truth, whether or not we can see it. Maximizing our understanding of truth means using more than just sight.

Another bad habit of human nature is to accept only the bits of truth that suit us—the parts we understand, or with which we agree. We seem to prefer comfort and self-assurance over truth. Even stranger than picking and choosing truths to accept, some of us believe that whatever we think, feel, or perceive is truth. "Our" truth. Personal experience is certainly part of truth, but the distinction between truth and perception is significant—especially considering how inaccurate perception can be. For example:

Loss of a sense - Being blind doesn't cause anything to stop existing, but it limits our ability to perceive reality—as does being deaf, paralyzed, or anosmic. Just because you don't experience it doesn't mean it's not there.

Dreams/delirium - Physical consciousness has its limits and flaws, and it's possible to perceive and react to something that's not there at all. So, what you do experience doesn't always mean it is there.

Mishearing or Misunderstanding - We have imperfect senses and processing, and therefore flawed perception. What we think we saw or heard may not be what was actually done or said, or we could be misinterpreting, or missing context.

Memory - Brains are pack rats. They do a magnificent job of storing everything—but struggle to find it. Memories also pass through the filter of our emotions on their way in and out, and what was stored in the first place is subject to our senses and brain. Memory is changeable. As a result, it can be unreliable.

Mental Illness - Failures in the brain and body can lead to irrational thoughts and destructive acts. Brain damage, trauma, depression, anxiety, paranoia, phobias, and poor mental or emotional health dramatically alter perception, and in mostly problematic ways.

Chemicals - The substances produced by or added to our body distort and/or slow our perception. Whether it's hormones, alcohol, drugs, etc., the disconnect from reality can be significant, and frequently dangerous.

Pride, Prejudice, Opinions, Anger, and Pain - These warp reality as much as mental illness, and have a tendency to cause us to believe what we wish to believe, and very commonly, what we fear. These emotional distortions can completely close our mind to new, real, or critical information.

The unreliable nature of perception is what makes it so necessary for us to find and act on absolute truth. It's helpful and constructive to try to understand the experiences and perspectives of those around us, but the only way for everyone to be on the same page is to unite around a shared understanding of actual truth. Encouraging everyone to have their "own truth" creates a society incapable of unity, harmony, or progress. Having reality in common is a key to individual and collective happiness.

When information (or perception) falls in line with reality, it's "right," and when it doesn't, it is "wrong." Truth encompasses all that's right. Knowing truth makes us aware of risks and dangers, opportunities and solutions, resources, causes and effects. Truth protects, moderates, directs, prepares, and frees us from an endless list of problems.

Misinformation and disinformation, misunderstandings, half-truths and lies have destroyed health, careers, marriages and families, communities, and the peace of nations. Lies are used to manipulate, to justify neglect and abuse, and to initiate and perpetuate conflict. Disconnects from reality come at the cost of our peace and happiness. Truth matters.

It also has a tendency to reveal itself over time. "Truth will out," as they say. Like water—you can bury it as deep as you like, but it will eventually seep out, more clear than before.

There's a reason we try to bury or ignore it. Some truth is unpleasant. It can be sad, unflattering, complicated, disgusting, overwhelming, and terrifying. Trusting in the value of truth helps us face it head on (rather than turning away, and being overturned by it).

Truth is more than knowing things. Facts matter, but truth is all of reality, so having truth means being fully connected to reality. Memory and the study of history connect us to the reality of the past. Focus, awareness, being observant, having clarity of thought, feeling, and perception, learning and listening, and keeping an open mind connect us to the reality of the present. Perspective and faith help connect us to the reality of what will be (more on that later). That's a much deeper and more valuable type of truth than a catalog of factoids.

Truth is a power. So, like every other power, asset, skill, or tool, it's only constructive when used appropriately. It's not enough to be right (or "smart"). Truth doesn't make you good. If you know better, you're obligated to behave better. That's where virtue comes in.

Virtue

Life is growth, and the point of life is happiness, so something is objectively "good" if it's a net benefit to growth and happiness. Virtue is every good pattern of thought and behavior. It's a long list: love (which actually encompasses most virtues), humility, generosity, gratitude, selflessness, sacrifice, thoughtfulness, patience, focus, work ethic, etc. But the list being long doesn't mean we get to pick and choose (like Epicureans and Stoics, Liberals and Conservatives, etc.), because vice will exist wherever virtue doesn't, like darkness and light. And every vice is, by definition, net destructive.

It's easier to destroy, fall, relax, delay, or ignore than to build, climb, work, plan, or study. Progress requires energy. Nature tends to favor efficiency (except when it comes to fight, flight, play, or reproduction)—but nature is content with survival. Happiness (the apex of intelligent life) requires effort that goes beyond reaction or instinct.

The term "vice" is often used as a synonym of addiction. A better and broader definition is that it's simply the opposite of virtue—behavior with a net effect of destruction and misery (including, but not limited to addiction). Vice is usually the result of doing whatever is easiest.

Virtue demands conscious, sustained effort, and is unnatural only in the sense that it's not easy (at first), so it doesn't tend to be our default behavior, but the pursuit of happiness is natural. Living together in families, groups, and societies is natural. And virtue (tied to truth) is what makes living together possible and enjoyable. Vice makes it difficult and unsustainable. Effort makes all the difference.

Not all vice is moral failure. It's always destructive, but not always willful. Conscious effort is still the key, but there's a difference between vice we choose, and the vice we just haven't finished addressing.

A world without virtue is a place full of division, fear, anger, impatience, intolerance, selfishness, willful ignorance, and arrogance, where might makes right, manipulation (mostly violence) is our only attempt at diplomacy, self-gratification is the only rule, and humanity exists in a state of absurdly self-destructive anarchy no less intelligent creature could replicate—an ultimate demonstration of humanity's paradoxical intelligence and foolishness.

Why is vice so common? Because it's easy to do, and easy to sell. Telling people to give in to selfishness, short-sightedness, self-superiority, fear, or anger is like telling children they should only eat dessert. It's appealing because it requires no effort, and satisfies our most base cravings. It's often fun, flattering, what we want to hear, or are willing to believe. But the outcome of vice is not happiness. It's not progress. Eventually, it leads to a complete disconnect from reality. And when public figures, governments, organizations, sources of information, or companies appeal to our base instincts rather than motivating us to higher levels of truth and virtue, the result—regardless of whatever utopia they promise—is damage to society and individuals. It's a trade of everyone's peace and happiness for some person's short-term personal gain. If you don't want the destruction vice brings, don't buy into it.

Nobody has a monopoly on vice. The pull of gravity affects us all more or less equally, and vice, being natural, does the same. No group—rich or poor, educated or ignorant, religious or otherwise, one color or another—is naturally more affected than any other. Pride, laziness, closed-mindedness, extremism, selfishness…they afflict us all. Vice is a human problem, so every one of us has to individually choose to resist it.

Vice is often portrayed in art or ads as funny, harmless, or an endearing part of someone's personality. That may be true—temporarily. When you're close to it, the charm quickly fades. What we willfully ignore in accepting or defending vice is the fact that we (humanity and all of nature) are thoroughly connected. We depend on each other, and our actions affect everyone and everything around us—when virtuous, for the better, and when not, for the worse. Recognize vice for what it is: net destructive behavior. Put in the effort necessary to replace it with virtue, no matter how unusual, unnatural, or difficult that may feel. Misery is easy, and popular, but happiness is worth the effort.

The virtue any person has is the result of effort. Yes, virtues require more energy, but that is the nature of all great things, including life itself. Consistently giving into our cravings and impulses results in vice and base, animal-like behavior focused only on individual survival. Controlling (not neutralizing) ourselves leads to virtue, and an elevated, increasingly happy state of being that benefits everyone.

Truth and Virtue

Virtue leads to truth. You may have noticed that moderation, humility, open-mindedness, thoughtfulness, patience, love, and wisdom motivate us to seek truth, and protect us against the lies and misinformation that stem from reality-distorting bias, extremism, fear, greed, pride, or anger. Each virtue also helps ensure the constructive application of truth. Look at truth without virtue:

• Truth without justice is hypocrisy
• Truth without mercy is criticism
• Truth without love is rudeness
• Truth without humility is arrogance
• Truth without wisdom is tactlessness
• Truth without restraint is gossip
• Truth without loyalty is betrayal

Truth is truth, but that doesn't justify its misuse. Unkindness isn't wrong because of inaccuracy. How many times have you heard someone say, "Look, I'm not going to lie to you…," followed by something nobody should ever say? It would be a miserable place if everyone were perfectly truthful, but also critical, hypocritical, unkind, arrogant, tactless, gossiping traitors who demand to be "right." While truth generally contributes to happiness, using and distributing it carelessly doesn't. It's so easily manipulated to manipulate. Truth is a power, so whether or not it's constructive depends on how it's used. It should be part of our foundation, but it's not enough to ensure happiness on its own. Truth needs to be married to virtue.

The truth-virtue relationship goes both ways. Virtue without truth is also problematic. A few examples:

Myths - Ideas like Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny might promote generosity and thoughtfulness, but at a cost (for example, forgetting the actual significance of events and traditions, children not realizing the sacrifices of their loved ones, parents being pressured to spend beyond their means, excessive focus on things rather than relationships, the manipulation of children, and the breach of trust when they discover the actual truth).

Mantras - Telling ourselves something is true before it actually is puts the cart before the horse. Even if those ideas are positive or kind or hopeful, they are still a willful disconnect from reality—an attempt to wish something into existence that we could much more effectively work into existence. Positivity is good, but can easily become denial, which is bad.

Fad diets - Yes, they require self-denial and self-control, but often ignore our individual needs and differences, and can deprive us of critical nutrition when not based on truth. Virtuous, yes, but potentially destructive. Someone recommending it doesn't make it good.

Cults and extremist groups - Sacrifice, obedience, and dedication are all present—right along with destructive subjugation, acts of violence, loss of self-respect, autonomy, and even life. Some of history's most horrific events are the result of a person manipulating others with lies, to take advantage of the motivation, support, unity, and productivity that virtue generates.

Bad investments - Long-term thinking, sacrifice, and hope can still lead to a net loss if the expectation was not based on reality. All investment will come with risk as long as the future is unknown, but it still points to the value of truth and the inadequacy of virtue alone.

Crusades and witch hunts - Whether we're talking about the medieval, religious type, or modern-day philosophical fervor, these have been destructive as a result of being based on falsehoods. We ought to defend what is right and good, but going on the offensive requires a rare degree of justification only provided by necessity and clear understanding of absolute truth—not just belief.

A world with virtue but no truth is a place where our time and efforts are wasted on misguided goals, our emotional energy is exhausted by incorrect perceptions, our hope and belief end in disappointment, and we suffer constant [though unintentional] damage to our bodies, relationships, finances, communities, and global peace. We are at our best and happiest when we apply our virtue to what is true and real.

Knowledge leads to understanding, empathy, humility, love, and open-mindedness. It strengthens virtue. Virtue encourages us to listen, learn, consider, serve, and improve ourselves—all of which increase knowledge. Individual virtues similarly depend on each other.

Everything anyone does is for an imagined benefit. Even the most horrible acts were done with some positive outcome in mind. The difference is that destructive acts involve:

• Being disconnected from reality (expecting something that is unlikely or impossible, because of a lack of truth), or
• Only looking at personal benefit and not net benefit (which implies a lack of virtue)

Right and wrong, good and bad, are not arbitrary constructs of human imagination, culture, morality, or religion. They can be contextual and nuanced, but they're still absolute measurements of reality, and laws of happiness as unchangeable and universal as gravity. The two most fundamental requirements for human happiness and growth are truth and virtue.

Virtues and Assets

Life requires resources. Wellness requires resources. It's natural to hoard assets because of the potential benefit to our survival, but that basic instinct is problematic for two reasons:

1) In spite of what our body may want (survival), the conscious, intelligent part of us would actually rather die than live a long, miserable life. The point of life isn't life. The point of life is happiness, and assets have little effect on that beyond the threshold needed for survival and wellness.

2) Assets are limited, but there's no limit to our craving for them. Without conscious intervention we'll continue to collect them, past the point where our greed starts to prevent the survival and well-being of others.

Assets benefit survival and virtues benefit happiness. Knowledge—being a combination of asset and virtue—benefits both. Wellness is an important part of happiness, and it requires assets, but not many.

Unlike most assets, virtues can't be inherited, given, or taken away. They are only possessed by someone as a result of individual will (the core of identity). This makes virtue the only accurate measure of someone's "goodness" or value.

Regardless of our effort to earn wealth, health, power, or beauty, misfortune and failure can follow. Many assets can be found or taken away in one moment. Assets depend significantly on circumstance. But when a person works to develop humility, generosity, open-mindedness, love, or any other virtue, even the greatest catastrophes (or "successes") won't deprive that person of the virtues they acquired—and will in most cases accelerate their self-improvement.

Like virtues, assets are self-feeding. Wealth leads to education, education to skill, skill to more wealth and influence, and all add to greater health and opportunity for more assets. Also like virtues, the absence or decrease of some assets will usually decrease the other assets as well. Reduced wealth leads to reduced health and influence, time, and energy. This causes self-reinforcing cycles of inequality—wealth or poverty—often in spite of choice.

Just as virtues perfect other virtues (and our use of truth) virtues also perfect our use of assets. Wherever an asset exists, its corresponding virtue(s) must be developed or the asset will have a corrosive effect. Combining external assets with internal virtues creates growth.
A few examples:

• Wealth + Generosity
• Opportunity + Work Ethic
• Intelligence + Wisdom
• Strength + Determination
• Beauty + Kindness
• Skill + Service
• Education + Open-Mindedness
• Fame + Selflessness
• Energy + Focus
• Influence + Self-Control

When left ungoverned, assets tend to destroy (like all types of power), but when properly controlled they are wonderfully useful. The law of entropy tells us active effort is required to avoid a state of chaos and uselessness. The more internal control a person achieves, the more external control they will also have. And when asset and virtue are combined, happiness is preserved, and capacity for doing good increases.

Gratitude is the willful act of acknowledging the assets we have been given by others, and consciously choosing to share our thanks and pay that debt forward—even when some other needs go unmet, or wants remain unfulfilled. This creates happiness for both giver and receiver, and makes us resistant to disappointment and discontent. That positive effect grows and spreads. In contrast, entitlement and ingratitude cause us to be unhappy and unsatisfied, regardless of how much we have or how much others help us, and discourages generosity in both ourselves and those who would otherwise have tried to help us. It diminishes happiness and growth. Gratitude is only one example, but every virtue can and should be applied to our assets (and every area of life).

Virtue is so important to individual and collective well-being that it should be valued above any asset the world has to offer. No economy can ever be healthy enough to survive widespread vice. Societies usually fall from the inside out. Virtue is the only guarantee of long-term prosperity.

Truth, virtue, and assets do—and must—go together, producing only when combined the kind of prosperity and happiness every society seeks.

Knowledge

Knowledge bridges the gap between asset and virtue. It's obtained by any who seek it, and is constructive when balanced and moderated. It's like an asset in that having less doesn't make a person less good—it's simply an awareness that increases our potential for good or bad. But it does have a stronger tendency than most other assets to encourage virtue, and is like a virtue in that it isn't easily taken away, or conferred on those who don't want or seek it.

Skill (specific knowledge + process) is also between asset and virtue. It's a capacity developed through effort, and is based on truth, but is more narrow in application than virtue, and is often but not inherently constructive. Like knowledge, it increases potential for good or bad. This includes abilities like communication, leadership, organization, and more—which are possessed in spades by the most constructive and destructive individuals in history.

Knowledge and skill will accelerate our efforts, whether or not we want what is good. So, wanting what is good is the higher priority.

Identifying Truth

Truffles—one of the most prized foods on the planet—can sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars per pound, and grow underground, which makes them very difficult to find. Locating them requires an understanding of where and when to look, as well as a truffle-hunting companion capable of rooting them out. Truth is similar. It's deeply valuable, though sometimes hidden, and finding it requires that we know where to look, and have the ability to identify it. For a world in which truth is increasingly elusive, here's a simple litmus test:

• Is the source moderate and unbiased?
• Is the source reliable and trustworthy?
• Is the source corroborated by other sources?
• Is the source (and their affiliates) unlikely to benefit from you believing the information?
• Does it feel true?
• Does it seem unchangeable, unflattering, or challenging?
• Is it consistent with what you already know to be true?
• If it can be proven, has it been proven?
• If not, is there adequate evidence to support the idea?
• Is it simple?
• Is it calm and rational?
• If it's emotional, does it still hold up to logic?
• If based on logic, does the logic hold up if followed to its end?
• Is it based on a stable premise or accurate assumptions?
• Does it generally avoid assumptions or opinions?
• Has it stood the test of time?
• Does it seem likely to stand the test of time?
• Is it constructive?
• Does it encourage virtue—to do good or be wise, calm, loving, open-minded, and focused on the well-being of others?
• Does it acknowledge that all people are fundamentally equal?
• Does it encourage, accept, and withstand verification?

If the answer is "yes" to those questions, the information is almost certainly true. If the answer to any of those questions is "no," that should throw up a red flag, and you'd need additional verification or proof.

It's easy to believe what we want to believe. It's easier to believe who we want to believe. And, unfortunately, the easiest of all is believing what we fear. But truth is rarely just want we want, always from people we like, or actually as bad as we think.

Truth has a nature—a set of consistent characteristics. It's calm, simple, moderate, consistent, redundant, balanced, supported, connected, centrist, and inclusive. Truth is valuable. Once you find it, it's worth giving up all the misunderstandings, false beliefs, theories, traditions, or superstitions it replaces.

Truth is in the middle

Truth doesn't change. It remains moderate and simple, in spite of the flood of constantly evolving opinions, perceptions, trends, cultures, movements, or lies. Truth is simple reality—things as they were, are, and will be. It's absolute. But, it's in our nature to disagree. Sometimes, we fight because we know truth is worth defending. We just don't always stop to consider if we're actually right. And the natural result of conflict is to push away from one another. Truth remains where it always was: in the neutral [absolute] middle. As opposing parties polarize away from each other they move farther and farther away from the center, and from truth. This makes the arguments of both parties more inaccurate, unstable, extreme, and justifiably opposed by the other. From either side, truth seems skewed toward the other, and therefore undesirable, so in addition to fighting against our opponent we will fight against truth. The real problem is polarization itself.

So, truth usually ends up in the middle, or more accurately, we tend to end up on opposite sides of truth. The middle is absolute—not relative to the two arguments. If one person is right and the other wrong, that doesn't mean the truth is half wrong. It means the person who is right is in the middle of the extremes.

Remaining in the center is hard. It takes humility and open-mindedness and a conscious effort at balance. It requires that we give up our emotional need to be right or feel smart (or push too hard against those who deviate from truth). In exchange, we're rewarded with actual truth and wisdom.

Like climbing a tree, we're most safe and stable near the trunk, and able to climb to great heights. The farther out on the branches we go, the more difficult it gets to climb upward, and the more unstable and dangerous our position becomes.

Unbiased people will agree on truth, because they'll see it for what it is, and their perspectives, though different, will overlap. Truth often has many witnesses. When you hear arguments made, or opposing perspectives presented, it's wise to look to the center, and to any overlap, for truth. Truth is in the middle.

False Choices

When truth isn't between two conflicting concepts it can mean both concepts are true, or contain truth, and are only being presented as opposing options. Logic or emotion, spending or saving, nutrition or exercise, work or play, freedom or rules, pleasure or self-denial, conservatism or liberalism, religion or science… These false choices are destructive because both sides are critical to happiness. When compatible truths are presented as opposing arguments, someone is either confused, or wants conflict. The result of picking one or the other is that you will lose half of all that is good, and what remains is not properly moderated. Truth never actually opposes itself—even when it seems to—but it usually requires balance.

Change

While truth itself remains perfectly consistent, every thing in the universe changes. There are changes in direction, velocity, position, energy, shape, and order. The fundamental laws of nature and physics remain constant, but their effect is an ever-evolving system—life being the most dynamic and complex of all. Life is change. It's self-directed, self-motivated growth and regeneration through and in spite of change. The more intelligent life is, the more it can act rather than being acted upon, to change itself and its circumstances. Intelligence enables progress. Happiness requires growth, because it's based on truth and virtue, neither of which we have in full at the beginning of our life. So, change is necessary.

Freedom is the condition of being allowed to act, and to progress. When freedom is removed we lose our ability to self-direct, to choose change, to discover truth, and to connect with others. This opposes what defines life and facilitates happiness. Few things are more destructive than the removal of freedom. Even being made to do good won't produce happiness, because it neither creates virtue nor encourages learning. Systems, products, and choices that needlessly reduce our freedoms (physical, mental, emotional, social, financial, political, religious, etc.), are objectively wrong. Addictions and dependencies, debts, abuses, enslavement, manipulation, oppression, tyranny, and persecution of all kinds stand against everything essential to happiness—against well-being, autonomy, truth, virtue, and progress. Providing and protecting freedom will never guarantee happiness, but it ensures two things: the best conditions for progress, and individual responsibility for happiness (or misery).

A philosophy that proposes that we're not capable of change, don't need to change, or would be happier if we stopped trying to change, is not just incorrect—it halts growth, encourages stagnation and inaction, defends destruction, and robs individuals of real happiness, leaving in its place only shallow, false, and temporary self-assurance. It's clear that people can change for the worse, when they so choose. We can change for the better as well.

Similarly, the idea that it's not personal change, but growth of assets (money, health, beauty, power, etc.) that will bring happiness is destructively misguided, and is supported by neither logic nor history. It produces individuals who have spent their lives amassing assets instead of virtues, inevitably at the expense of their own happiness, and to the detriment of those whose basic needs remain unmet.

We are who we are, and we don't need to be someone else. But, being who we are doesn't mean remaining as we are. A seed is a seed, but it shouldn't stay a seed. Your potential is a part of who you are. Progress helps you become what you can and should be—the most complete, mature, developed, productive, and happy version of yourself.

Who and what you are is defined by what you most deeply want and choose. You can want and choose to change. Growing into the person you really want to be is the only way to actually be yourself. When we change in ways that make us better—that increase knowledge and virtue, and that bring our actions in line with what we know to be true, and feel to be true (conscience)—happiness grows. There's no happiness without change, and personal progress, though hard, is absolutely possible.

Many of us don't choose to change simply because we don't think others will believe we have. We think they'll only see us as we were. We're stuck in how we perceive ourselves, or think others do. Living up to expectations is one thing. Living down to expectations is another, and is wrong. It won't bring happiness.

People can become better or worse, but that isn't predetermined or permanent. Our pursuit of truth and virtue is how we choose what our net benefit will be. Whatever it was in the past, we can change, accept additional truth, embrace more virtue, and become more good (or, conversely, accept lies and resist truth, give in to vice, and become more bad). Reputation is an asset that can be damaged by past behavior—but, being an asset, it was never a good metric for character in the first place. Forget what people think. Change, and embrace what is true and good. Happiness outlasts reputation.

Some things make change easier: goals, plans, routines, memory, imagination, inspiration, hope, companionship—and most of all, desire. Change starts with wanting to be happy, then increasing truth by:

1. Acknowledging our ignorance
2. Wanting more truth
3. Seeking it
4. Verifying it
5. Accepting it
6. Changing anything about our life in conflict with it, then
7. Promoting and protecting it

Then, growing in virtue by:

1. Recognizing our vices
2. Wanting improvement
3. Replacing vice with virtue
4. Sticking to it, then
5. Encouraging others do the same

As we grow in truth, virtue will also grow, and vice versa.

To summarize: truth is the simple, reasonable, unbiased, single, absolute reality in which we all live (independent of our perceptions), and what defines "right," a power to be managed carefully, and the moderate and stable foundation of virtue.

Virtue is the definition of "good," the full suite of constructive thoughts and behaviors, the only fair and accurate measurement of individual worth, and a self-reinforcing set of characteristics that, when paired with truth, produce real happiness.

The laws of happiness are truth and virtue. The key to parenting is truth and virtue. The key to leadership, a productive career, relationships, health, service, teaching, learning, governance, business, finances, science, religion…the key to everything is truth and virtue, because the point of everything is happiness, and the fundamental laws of constructive growth and happiness are truth and virtue.

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Truth is understanding. Virtue is being. What remains is doing. How do we achieve good outcomes more consistently, and what's the process for applying our hard-earned knowledge and character? That framework is Wisdom.

In literature, wisdom is usually a quasi-magical power, possessed for plot-enhancing reasons by old and mysterious characters who guide our protagonist to success. In real life, wisdom does guide us to success, but is less rare, and more attainable. It's more language than wizardry. Like language, it can be learned by anyone who practices it. It's common with age, because it's usually a product of experience, but, like other virtues, it's present in—and only in—those who seek or accept it. Many of us don't, because it can seem difficult, restraining, or old-fashioned. The more foolish we are, the more foolish wisdom sounds.

Wisdom is the power to know what to do (or not do), when to do it, and why. In other words, it's the ability to consistently make good decisions. Anyone who wants wisdom can develop it. It's a process of thought and action based on:

• Prioritization
• Perspective
• Patterns
• Preparation
• Principles
• Purpose

Prioritization

We have limited resources. There are infinite ways to spend those resources, and only a handful of things we will have time to do, so those should be the ones with the greatest impact on growth and happiness. Prioritization means figuring out what those are, and ordering them properly.

Decisions are trades. We trade our time, energy, money, and other resources for some perceived benefit. In some cases, we trade our short-term benefit for a longer-term benefit (an investment or sacrifice). Or, we trade our long-term benefit for a short-term benefit (indulgence or foolishness).

First, growth requires effort. Second, every decision has long-term consequences. Those two facts mean that constructive decisions will almost always require a short-term sacrifice, and result in long-term increase in happiness. That's the pattern of exercise, nutrition, education, relationships, construction, developing any skill—essentially every good thing. On the other hand, destructive decisions follow another pattern: giving in, taking the easy road, and accepting small, immediate payoffs with long-term detriments (e.g. laziness, procrastination, manipulation, criticism, conflict, gluttony, drugs). It's wise to prioritize net gain over immediate gain.

Prioritizing our needs and wants (in that order) helps make sure we trade up, not down. A need is anything required to avoid destruction and misery. Wants are optional and being deprived of them optionally affects our well-being and happiness. It's trading up when we redirect our limited energy from wants to needs (or from wants to more meaningful wants). Always trade up.

We typically know when an option is bad. All that requires is self-control. It's harder to prioritize when we have to choose between two good options (or two bad ones). There's a time for efficiency, and a time for effectiveness. There are times to be rigid, and times to be flexible. Focusing on net effect and trading up helps us prioritize and see the right time for any option.

Priorities need to be conscious and consistent. We essentially have no priorities if they change with every decision and circumstance.

Perspective

Thoughts and decisions are products of the past. What has already happened explains where we are now and the choices available to us. Looking back at the past enables us see where the ripples of similar actions have gone. Where we want to be in the future determines whether we should keep doing what we're doing, or change. In other words, we should think in context, with both past and future in mind, guided by our goals. This allows us to change our direction as needed, and better control our outcomes. How well can you build something if you don't remember what you've already completed or what you meant for it to be? Focusing on where you are right now is good and important—but useless without the perspective of past and future.

A key to making good decisions is considering their net effect in the broadest sense. Every decision has its pros and cons. The direct and indirect, close and distant, immediate and delayed, obvious and subtle, quantifiable and intangible results of any thing are its net effect. Those ripples—which may grow or diminish with time—are impossible for us to calculate fully, but even a good old college try helps you see past the immediate effects of an action and sense if that action had a net effect of happiness and growth. The broader our perspective, the more accurate our perception of net effect will be.

Machiavelli is famous for his hypothesis that "the end justifies the means." While that is clearly prone to misuse, it does hold true if the "end" includes all the effects of the means throughout all of time, and the sum is a net effect of growth and happiness. The end isn't just what happens to us —it's the effect on everyone affected by our decisions. Selfishness is wrong because it only considers the effect on one's self, even if enormous damage is done to others. It ignores net effect. Wisdom keeps the far-reaching effects of action in mind.

The Iroquois people of North America had a guiding principle for their decisions: that they must be sustainable for seven generations. That kind of thinking encourages us to intentionally design highly constructive, long-term solutions. Think of what we wouldn't do (or make, sell, buy, or eat) if guided by the same principle. Sustainability is a critical facet of wisdom that considers the future effects of our decisions.

The reality that choice changes the direction of the future gives you great power—if you know where you want to go and have the self-control to make yourself choose what is best. Those who choose only what they want in the moment fail to remember the course-changing nature of decisions, and the fact that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Every bad decision leaves you with fewer good options. It takes far less energy overall to make small, frequent adjustments than to make major course corrections. A boat can't do much to prevent the wind or waves from pushing it around, but it can control the direction in which it's pointed. The more frequently it corrects its course the sooner it will get to its destination. Choice is how we control our direction.

The first three dimensions of reality (width, height, and depth) allow for scale and position, shape, and mass. But time, the fourth dimension, is what permits change, and therefore motion, energy, light, heat, growth, life, consciousness, and action. Like all dimensions there is no discernible end to time. The span of our life from birth to death is relatively short. Keeping an eternal perspective while carefully managing the limited time we have is constructive and wise. There are good, better, and best times for most actions. If there is no time in which an action will be net constructive, it's inherently wrong.

Another key to perspective is recognizing how little we know. Given the vastness of the universe, the portion of our brain in full use, the short duration of our life, and the limits of our own experience, we should be both humble and hopeful—keeping ourselves open to the nearly infinite volume of knowledge we have yet to acquire. This will ensure our perspective and knowledge continue to grow.

Seeing the world through only our own perspective is like seeing through only one eye. The depth and clarity of what we perceive can be enhanced by gathering perspective from others. In doing so we tap into one of the most significant treasures of society: collective wisdom.

Patterns

The laws of nature are reliable. Newton's observations about motion have remained accurate. The sun consistently keeps planets in their orbit, and we can count on the laws of energy, motion, and thermodynamics. Recognizing patterns in nature allows us to make constructive decisions: how to care for our bodies, homes, communities, and world, where and how to build, when and how to grow food, and how best to prepare for inevitable cycles of growth and destruction. Patterns in nature are the basis of technology, medicine, and science (not to mention music and art).

Many of these patterns have value as metaphors for life and happiness. The fundamental principles are similar. Winter is replaced by spring, and suffering is usually temporary and followed by growth. Change brings progress as often as it brings challenges. We might be tired of hearing that "the early bird gets the worm," but wise people learn principles from patterns in the world around them. Nature has managed to achieve and sustain beauty, complexity, efficiency, growth, variety, harmony, and balance for billions of years. Those are some of our most important goals, so we should try to recognize nature's principles and patterns.

Laws of happiness are natural, and therefore as consistent as the rest of nature, and patterns of human behavior are similarly predictable. The causes and effects of pride, conflict, or corruption in people thousands of years ago is no different from what we see now. The benefits of unity, order, balance, virtue, or mercy are also unchanged by time. Certain behaviors have certain outcomes. This tendency of truth to follow patterns and provide predictable outcomes gives us a valuable guide for thought and decisions. We can more easily work constructively with others when our approach and expectations are based on reliable patterns. What has worked in the past is the thing most likely to work in the future. Discovery is important, but there is risk in relying too much on ideas not yet proven by time (and in discarding truths that have been proven by time).

It's also helpful to be aware of patterns of behavior, both in others and in ourselves. Understanding those patterns helps us predict and therefore change outcomes. This is, in a nutshell, the entire concept behind parenting, psychology, education, diplomacy, law enforcement and security, addiction treatment, and on, and on. The ordered nature of life means that behavior is seldom as random as it seems (people are always rational—within the context of what they know and feel, and the limits of how clearly they can think). Understanding behavior is possible and extremely constructive.

Patterns reveal principles, powers, and probabilities. It's the recurring theme of cause and effect that enables us to see what's beneficial and what isn't, what's wise and what isn't, the forces at play, and the likely result of any choice. These pattern-based revelations enable us to base our expectations on what's reliable, real, and likely, which then protects us against disappointment, confusion, anger, and disaster.

Patterns of behavior aren't necessarily good. It's been said that a fool is someone who keeps doing the same thing, expecting a different result. A wise person, then, would learn from the patterns of the past, employ thoughts and actions that have a tendency to lead to the desired outcome, then change course as often as needed.

Patterns are the rhythm of life. It's wise to observe the recurring themes and stay in harmony with them.

Preparation

Priorities, perspective, and patterns all point toward the value of preparing for the future. When we know what is most important, what has happened in the past and where things are headed, what the short- and long-term effects of action (or inaction) would be, what powers are at play, and what to expect based on the continuity of the laws of physics and human nature, our decisions can do far more to ensure a good result. The alternative is to simply react to the present, which gives us dramatically reduced control over our future.

Non-human animals understand this concept perfectly. They have a keen ability to observe the subtle cues of nature, recognize what is coming, and immediately begin preparing. This is true for common, cyclical challenges (like the coming of winter), and even more random events (storms or tsunamis). Human animals would also be wise to observe as carefully, respond as immediately, and work to ensure a good outcome as wisely by preparing for change and the needs it will create.

Preparation is about the future, and to us the future is largely unknown. As a result, any preparation involves some degree of risk. We are putting out energy and resources for a benefit we can't fully predict, which could potentially turn out to have been a waste. Preparing is risky. But not preparing is unwise, and guarantees worse outcomes. Risk is simply a part of life. It's a necessary component of health, relationships, careers, financial well-being, farming, education—essentially everything we do. Finding the appropriate degree of risk is mostly a matter of preparing for the future with perspective, and with the guidance of historical patterns.

Long-term focus is critical, but it's wise to have both a short- and long-term strategy. This allows us to be prepared not just for the major, infrequent events, but for the constant day-to-day needs. We save money and educate ourselves for the possibility of needing a new job some day, but we still prepare for work or school on a daily basis. We watch the map to make sure we're heading toward our destination, and carefully watch the road so we don't crash. Preparation is the wisdom to do what can reasonably be done now to control the future—to benefit from opportunity and survive calamity, even when they are infrequent or unlikely. That is best achieved through small but constant investment of resources. Small changes now will have large impacts later.

Principles

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Determining what should be done is a matter of applying principle to choice. Virtues are those principles. Unprincipled decisions are prone to failure. Pride, for instance, leads to anger, closed-mindedness, halted progress, unfounded self-assurance, and self-centeredness—all of which lead to foolish decisions that are careless, uninformed, rushed, over-confident, unconsidered, selfish, and ultimately destructive. On the other hand, humility leads to calm thought, open-mindedness, learning, realistic and productive confidence, caution, and selflessness, which in turn result in progress for the individual and everyone else.

Patience is another good example. The principle of actively waiting (preserving sufficient time for good outcomes) is another wise application of virtue. It guides us to do things when they will have their greatest positive effect, rather than acting impulsively. Some parts of life cannot be [successfully] rushed.

Happiness is rarely accidental. Making decisions based on principles of virtue is the only way to guarantee net gain and progress. Choices that are in line with your conscience—what you know or sense is right and good—also guarantee freedom from the misery of guilt, regret, fear, shame, or self-loathing (not to mention just condemnation). Truth—virtue's complementary principle—should also be at the center of every decision.

Purpose

Knowing the outcome you want most helps avoid impulsive, short-selling, irrational decisions. Nobody wants to live in a home or drive in a car that was constructed thoughtlessly or by accident. Most parts of life are better when they're the result of desire and design—thoughtful intent and systematic execution.

Determine your purpose and be motivated by it. Move toward your goals with every decision, and ignore criticism and distractions that bend you away. Pleasing critics is both impossible and unnecessary. Long term, the motive should always be net increase in happiness. So, short-term goals should be in line with that overarching purpose, the way the elements of a blueprint should all contribute to the function and beauty of the final structure, or the ingredients and methods of a recipe should all enhance the final dish.

When you think about what defines you as a unique, distinct being—when you've stripped away the parts that were inherited or taught or caused by circumstance—what is left is only your personal desire. Whatever it is you want most deeply. Your will. We are more than the sum of our body parts, upbringing, past decisions, or present circumstances. Identity goes beyond body, behavior, assets, and occupation. Those outer layers can, perhaps should, and often will change. That change should be driven by what you want most. Discover what you want most, and you will learn who you are. Being in harmony with your own purpose and identity is key to happiness.

In our pursuit of what we desire, it's also wise to recognize that as part of a society, what we want, do, and take influences the communities in which we live—for good or bad. When we take at the expense of our community, we cause conditions detrimental to everyone's happiness, including our own. For that reason, what we want for ourselves should always be balanced by what we want our community to be like (locally, nationally, and globally). This is the concept of the Golden Rule: doing ourselves (first) what we hope everyone will do (eventually) because of the kind of community it would create. This requires some sacrifice, but is the only way to break the cycles of vice that make societies unhappy.

With a clear, conscious, motivating desire behind every action, foolish distractions and tempting short-sells are easier to ignore, challenges are easier to overcome, goals are significantly easier to achieve, and our life has direction. Purpose is our destination, sail, wind, and rudder.

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A wise person gathers and internalizes truth, develops and employs virtue, focuses on the highest priority, prepares for the future, manages expectations, and acts purposefully for the greatest probability of long-term happiness. The benefits may come slowly, but "wisdom is justified of her children."

Wisdom is like chess: know your goal, prioritize, prepare, have a short- and long-term strategy, understand the patterns, trade up (focus on net gain), and keep moving toward your goal in spite of setbacks.

Wisdom doesn't need to be original. It it's not new, nor the idea of any single person. It may sound familiar, old-fashioned, simple—even obvious. Wisdom isn't intelligence, and it doesn't require unusual intelligence (intelligent people are often foolish, and ignorant people can be wise). It's defined by the process of thought and action we choose to follow. It does require that we pay attention and learn from experience, and it rests, like anything else important to happiness, on a foundation of virtue and truth.

Mastering any new language takes time, but wisdom is a language worth learning. The more people there are who speak it, the more unified, peaceful, and productive society will be.

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Knowing, being, and doing what is most constructive is largely an individual effort, but some principles require humanity's coordinated energy to support and preserve happiness for everyone. The first of these are Balance, Equality, and Unity.

If everything were the same, life could not exist. The universe only functions because of different and opposing elements (mass and space, positive and negative charges, visible and dark matter, light and dark, temperature or pressure differentials, gravity and momentum, varying atomic structures, bonds and the energy that breaks them, etc.). These differences made our planet and the life on it possible, and allow it to continue.

Zoom in a bit, and you'll see that differences in ecosystems support a wider variety of life, and variety of life provides balance and function. Gender differences help perpetuate life with greater efficiency, and other differences allow the current variety of life to coexist in harmony and symbiosis rather than destructive competition. In nature, differences tend to be stable, self-perpetuating, sustainable, and productive. They're essential—but also require balance.

Balance

Imbalance threatens life by causing a circumstance where one opposing force overcomes, rather than counterbalances, the other, destroying the differences in that system that would have otherwise contributed to life. For example, day and night, hot and cold, land and sea—they all provide conditions necessary to life. Too much of one or the other—or a constant average—would be far less beneficial. Without balanced differences, everything moves progressively closer to either sameness or chaos.

Homogeneity (sameness) is the opposite of life. A perfectly uniform universe filled with nothing but a single, neutral, inert, perfectly distributed element and no opposing forces would also be devoid of life, form, or any usefulness. Chaos is also unfriendly to life, which requires structure, order, balance, and some degree of predictability.

Balance fixes sameness and chaos. It allows for constructive differences and opposing forces, in a state of organization. It requires active energy, and is a principle that applies to all things, both literal and figurative.

Imbalance is unsustainable by nature, meaning that it inevitably leads to destruction—whether we're talking about something as concrete as a building, or as abstract as our use of time, our philosophies, beliefs, or political systems.

True principles can seem at odds with each other. That doesn't mean that one or the other is wrong—it just implies that some differences work together in harmonious balance, and in many cases are necessary to each other. For example:

• Life and death
• Gravity and flight
• Justice and mercy
• Law and self-governance
• Hierarchy and equality
• Caring for others and taking care of ourselves
• Investment and saving
• Generosity and frugality/self-reliance
• Teaching and learning
• Learning and doing
• Leading and following
• Patience and action
• Confidence and caution
• Obedience and self-motivation/self-direction
• Logic and emotion
• Comfort and discomfort
• Flexibility and rigidity

Both sides are good and necessary. Like a thumb opposing the other fingers, it's a balancing force that allows everything to function properly. Eliminating one principle or the other would be detrimental.

That said, life does not need to include what's wrong or bad (net destructive); there's enough natural opposition from balanced virtues, not to mention the good and natural parts of life that are difficult, painful, sad, uncertain, or frustrating. Balance is not the equal acceptance and protection of both right and wrong—it's the successful management of contrasting goods that prevents needless destruction and misery.

Life is complex. It requires complexity. But, the complexity of nature is purposeful and essential, while the complexity of our schedules and systems and relationships and thoughts may not be. Complexity has a tendency to become chaos. Intentional balance helps us find the point where critical complexity meets sustainable simplicity.

Balance requires energy. Without effort, imbalance grows. Nature corrects pent-up imbalance sporadically through major events like earthquakes, volcanoes, lightning, etc. When imbalance become apparent in our lives or communities, actively and frequently restoring balance is important, even if it's unpleasant (change of behavior, habit, routine, way of thinking, diet, attitude, entertainment, social groups, or sources of information). If balance isn't restored regularly, we risk larger-scale, sudden, chaotic corrections, in the form of economic collapse, political divisions, wars and revolutions, starvation, etc. Life prefers small, frequent adjustments to sustain balance.

Moderation is a balance-focused virtue. It's been treated as if it were synonymous with apathy, indecision, inaction, or disloyalty, but those words exist because they mean something different. Moderation is the conscious act of resisting imbalance and extremism. It's a type of self-control and requires effort, but pays us back in better outcomes. It's worth noting that moderation applies even (or specifically) to good things. It's the wisdom to balance two competing truths, or what's right and good with our capacity to understand and act, which helps us sustain growth and avoid burnout. It isn't a balance between right and wrong, which is simply unprincipled fence-sitting, or ignorance.

You may not notice [unless you've had vertigo] just how constantly and actively your body works to avoid falling over. Hundreds of muscles respond every second to sensory information provided by your inner ear, allowing you to stand or walk or run. True moderation is similar: a constant recalibration of every part of our life or society to keep the whole in balance.

Tightrope walking may look easy from the ground, but it's a different story when you're looking down from a great height on a swaying wire the width of a finger, with winds, distractions, and the constant risk of death. Remaining centered, moderate, and in balance is an exceptionally difficult act of constant micro-adjustments and self-control relatively few of us achieve—however easy it may look or sound from a distance. It's far easier to metaphorically fall to the [non-metaphorical] catastrophe of obsession, extremism, bias, closed-mindedness, or other kinds of imbalance. Moderation protects truth and virtue.

There's no balance without moderation, and no complete happiness without balance, which is why it needs to be pursued, practiced, protected, and promoted—both personally and collectively.

Equality

Equality is a human desire rooted in our innate need for survival (access to resources) and justice (preservation of social balance and safety). Inequality—an unequal distribution of power, justice, or resources—ignites an instinctive, passionate energy that has driven movements like revolution and war—for both good and bad. Unfortunately, the righteous indignation that seeks to restore balance, justice, and peace isn't always based on truth and virtue, but the conflicts of history are evidence of our natural craving for equality.

Equality, like balance, is not homogeneity. A homogeneous system, as previously mentioned, is not good. Achieving and preserving equality requires an orderly system that is not homogeneous, but varied, structured, and balanced. We wouldn't survive long with a body made of nothing but brains, and a brain wouldn't survive long if it were made only of nerve cells. We need a bladder and a brain, a heart and lungs, kidneys and liver, skin, bones, circulatory system, and a wide variety of cells and tissues and chemicals. Health quickly disintegrates when even one body part is deprived of what it needs or stops functioning. On the other hand, life is also endangered when the most crucial systems aren't prioritized over others—the reason your body prefers to sacrifice your fingers and ears to frostbite, rather than your brain and heart and lungs.

It's important to see the distinction between imbalance and hierarchy. Imbalance is a destructively lopsided distribution that gives preference to one entity over another to the detriment of the whole. Hierarchy is a highly constructive and efficient structure capable of providing alignment and unity to a large group of diverse, individual entities with different roles, to the benefit of all. Throughout history, hierarchical systems of government have frequently (and needlessly) been out of balance—by failure or will—and could wrongly be perceived as inherently imbalanced. Having an individual entity at the head of a group only results in imbalance and inequality when that individual fails to distribute power, justice, and resources with the well-being of the group as the primary focus. In other words, hierarchy requires virtue. It depends on selfless, diligent, thoughtful, trusting, wise, open-minded action to remain conducive to growth and happiness. Absent virtue, hierarchy quickly becomes unsustainable imbalance, and eventually destruction. This is true of any human system, but hierarchy provides the greatest potential for unity and efficient progress (presumably the reason why nature favors it for sustaining life). In a hierarchy it's a primary responsibility of every individual to work to preserve balance and virtue and truth, at every level. In other words, democracy will protect the whole, as long as the majority wants what's good. Historically speaking, that is more common than the individual at the head of a hierarchy consistently wanting what's good.

A house of cards is a good example of structure, balance, equality, and hierarchy. You may have only a card or two at the top, but the responsibility and importance of every card is equal as you descend the pyramid. Turn that pyramid upside down (or even have the same number of cards on each level), and you have a system that is still structured, balanced, and hierarchical, but deeply and unsustainably unequal—the weight increasing on each card as you descend, until it falls with greatest force on the bottom—making collapse inevitable. Destruction and misery and revolution is the natural outcome of any system that fails to prioritize and preserve balance, equality, and structure—a scene that has played out countless times on the human stage (caste systems, the French Revolution, American Revolution, Red October, civil rights movements and women's rights, ethnic cleansing, religious persecution, and on and on). On the other hand, the pyramids of Egypt—designed and constructed for maximum balance and stability—have lasted, mostly unchanged, for thousands of years.

A common failing of human nature is to seek sameness rather than equality. We want the same roles, the same responsibilities, the same information, the same function, the same assets, and even the same appearance as others around us. This comes from an understandable [but misguided] craving for justice, comfort, belonging, and predictability. But, the most happy and productive state in a system like family or society is one in which our roles, responsibilities, and functions are different and complementary, but valued equally, and distribution of resources is guided by capacity and need. This arrangement provides place, meaning, identity, and value to every individual, distributing the burdens of life such that we all bear what we can handle. It unites everyone in a common purpose, supported by what they individually need.

Giving every person the same function and responsibility destroys the value of individuals and most of the benefit of living in groups. Currently, society is comprised of people with diverse roles and functions—but, are those individuals valued equally, and are they all receiving a fair distribution of resources and power? Compensation for someone's time and labor is one of society's loudest pronouncements of their perceived worth. When society perpetuates inequality—whether that be compensation, rights, protections, voice, or resources—the outcome is predictable misery and failure. Simply expecting everyone to improve their own situation by giving up their current roles in favor of a small subset of better compensated ones destroys the valuable and necessary diversity of society, leaves many important jobs undone, diminishes the value of the over-saturated roles that remain, and ignores the reality of circumstance. Expecting the poor to remain poor so the wealthy can remain wealthy also exposes a complete poverty of truth and virtue. We are all better off when we contribute in different ways, to the extent of our capacity, and are valued equally. While others lack what we have and could share, we bear fault for that inequality and the unhappiness it causes.

At the heart of inequality is an ugly tumor of truthlessness and vice: fear, distrust, selfishness, anger, pride, closed-mindedness, criticism, and lies. The defining symptom of this illness is an insistence that one individual or group is inherently better (or worse) than another—rich or poor, educated or not, genders, colors, cultures, or religions. There are simple and obvious reasons why that shameful falsehood is destructive and wrong, and why all people should be seen as equal:

• The point of societies is collective success. It's failure if only one part of society "succeeds."
• Occupying a different place in the social hierarchy doesn't mean you're better—it simply means you fulfill a different role, and are responsible for the success of a larger group of people below you.
• The idea that someone being different makes them inferior is a flawed assumption proven wrong over and over throughout history. Every culture, color, and gender has produced (and continues to produce) people of exceptional virtue, knowledge, skill, and contribution to society.
• Every person's intrinsic worth is equal. Their goodness is a function of their individual commitment to truth and virtue—full stop. That is what determines their net effect on society. Assets like intelligence, skill, or wealth only accelerate that effect.
• The human differences on which we base our judgment tend to be superficial—visible characteristics that are only skin- or culture-deep.
• Our actual differences enrich and strengthen us, and give us value. Throughout all of nature, variety is better than homogeneity. Everyone being the same robs individuals of their worth or unique contribution. It's like a meal with only one ingredient, a painting with only one color, or a song with only one note. The logical end of every kind of self-supremacy is homogeneity. If everyone is like you, your worth is destroyed. You have nothing unique to offer. Variety is good for everyone. We all have a need to be needed.
• People are connected, so hurting or helping one group hurts or helps the rest. Society is like a body—we need and depend on one another, whether or not we acknowledge it. And ignoring someone's value hurts everyone.
• Blaming one group for the ills of society just because they look or believe or act differently is a predictable tactic of selfish individuals attempting to manipulate society for power (Hitler, Stalin, KKK, extremists, supremacists, terrorists, corrupt politicians, etc.), and has resulted in some of the most horrific atrocities in human history.
• Racism, sexism, classism, self-supremacy, prejudice, discrimination, segregation, intolerance, persecution, political extremism, genocide, self-righteousness, and victimization are all extraordinarily destructive, and are all the result of vice (generally pride, fear, and selfishness).
• Prejudice is based on fear and ignorance. If we have truth and virtue (are educated and loving) we move away from prejudice and pride toward seeing everyone as intrinsically valuable, and having equal potential for good. This increases everyone's happiness.
• Every person and group has its strengths and weaknesses. They may do poorly what you do well, but it's equally likely that they do well what you do poorly. Seeing ourselves as superior is simply the result of ignoring our own flaws, failing to see others' strengths, and basing our judgment on assets instead of virtues.
• On the other hand, ideas, philosophies, opinions, beliefs, traditions, practices, behaviors, objectives, organizations, political systems, products, and solutions are not fundamentally equal, or intrinsically good. Some are reliably destructive, others have minimal impact on happiness, and some are a net benefit to society. Regardless of our country, culture, color, or religion, the individuals who participate in them should be evaluated on their own merits. Belonging to a group that largely subscribes to some destructive philosophy (as all of us do) doesn't change the value of the individual.
• We are all equal in value and infinite in potential. What we want and choose is who we are. Our circumstances are only that. And the truth and virtue we embrace defines our goodness, as well as our own happiness.

In light of those facts, it should be clear that inequality (in any of its many forms) is a destructive lack of both truth and virtue and stands in opposition to happiness. Equality is about value and virtue. Balance and equality are not merely pleasant ideals we hope one day to achieve. They are achievable, and necessary to prevent destruction and to secure happiness for individuals and societies. And they are threatened by lies and vice. People are equal. Behaviors are not.

Unity

Why should you care about the happiness of someone other than yourself? Two reasons (at least):

1. Not caring about the happiness of others is a vice that will reduce your happiness.
2. Caring about others helps them be happier, and it's far better to be surrounded by happy people than miserable ones.

We're all connected, which means your happiness benefits others, and their happiness benefits you—just as your misery hurts others, and theirs will hurt you. We're connected, but that doesn't mean we're automatically united—it just makes unity that much more important.

From subatomic particles to atoms to molecules to cells to organisms to groups to societies, unity is about organization and purpose. It doesn't mean that all parts are the same. It means they work in harmony and coordination, every part recognizing it's a piece of something larger. It's possible, natural, and necessary for collections of diverse parts to work together for a common good. Unity benefits from unique individuals, but not selfish ones.

Unity doesn't require perfection, but it does necessitate constant effort to deal with imperfection. Every vice threatens unity. Any part seeing any other part as inferior (or worse, an enemy) is like a fabric unraveling itself—it weakens the strength and beauty of the entire cloth until it all becomes a useless pile of thread. Those who seek to destroy, divide. Those who seek to protect, unite.

Unity is fragile. It's easily unraveled by criticism, selfishness, prejudice, judgment, pride, extremism, and willful disregard for rules and laws designed to preserve a state of harmony. Most of all, it's destroyed when we see ourselves as inherently better than others. However, when we all grow in knowledge, we're naturally unified by a common understanding of reality. And as we develop virtue, we're unified by love, mercy, patience, open-mindedness, and respect. Truth (especially recognizing everyone around us as our equal) and virtue (most importantly love) are the keys to unity.

As is often the case, music provides an excellent metaphor. An orchestra includes a wide variety of people, roles, personalities, and instruments. Each musician has a different part to play, with a different method, sound, level of complexity, and degree of prominence. Some are responsible for leading, and some for following. They play in different ways, at different times. A few have solos, but most work together. Certain pieces require only certain instruments, but over time everyone will have been needed. Every musician must listen to the others, play in tune (to a specific, absolute, consistent frequency), on the beat (provided by the conductor), and not hide behind nor drown out anyone else. There's still room for individual and collective interpretation and musicality, but there are also predefined limits of right or wrong. It's easy for even one individual to mar a performance, but it's rare for anyone to do so intentionally, and there's a general sense of sympathy and understanding when mistakes are made, as everyone has made them. Mistakes don't constitute failure. The purpose of the orchestra is to provide music that lifts the audience and makes life better. Every part of the orchestra supports that mission, and achieving the best possible performance is done through balance, equality, and unity. Only rarely does an orchestra play the exact same phrase or note in complete unison, and even then there's variation in the type of sound. The unique value and benefit of an orchestra would be destroyed by homogeneity. Different parts aligned in harmony, phrasing, rhythm, tempo, and intonation result in an amazing unity that conveys beautiful music with unique power.

It's hard to imagine a more perfect symbol for society. As different as we are, we can still come together to strengthen each other and create something beautiful. We can be our unique selves and contribute in different ways, as long as we're unified by a set of absolute truths, consistent virtues, and common purposes.

Society has spent so much of its existence in division and conflict that it might be difficult to even imagine what unity would look like. But, try. Try to picture what that would be like, and how you personally would like to fit into that kind of community. You're different from everyone else, and those differences can be good. They make you distinct and valuable, with something unique and meaningful to contribute.

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Being social by nature, we belong and [typically] thrive in groups. Groups are complex, and individuals are unique, which makes the principles of balance, equality, and unity challenging, but absolutely crucial. They maximize individual and collective potential. But, complexity brings risk and maybe even guarantee of occasional failure. We need principles that can restore and protect balance and stability. Those are Justice and Mercy.

Hundreds of years have past since Newton described a fundamental law of nature: for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Central to that law is the fact that matter and energy are finite. What one system takes, another loses, preserving a fundamental balance.

Recently, we've also come to understand the concept of entropy, which describes the degree of inherent randomness in all things, the result of which is chaos, eventually, if an organizing force isn't applied. Where that force is applied, the system can grow in order and complexity and usefulness. We'll come back to those laws in a moment.

For intelligent individuals (and societies) the greatest expressions and motivations of life are growth and happiness. Therefore, "good" is anything that [net] contributes to that happiness and progress, and "bad" is anything that [net] detracts from it. More benefit = more good. The double-edged sword of community is the fact that it amplifies and connects the actions of individuals. Every act, good or bad, will eventually affect everyone in the community.

On the one hand, society can provide rapid accumulation of knowledge, collective wisdom, synergies that make large or difficult tasks possible, specializations that give individuals value and purpose, and a network of relationships that turn our differences into strengths. It's the most natural and beneficial arrangement of human life. On the other hand, the destructive acts of a single individual can hurt the whole group. Differences—when not accompanied by virtues—can lead to divisions, and lies and vice will spread like disease through the entire community.

If we agree that happiness and growth are the fundamental purpose of society (and of life itself), then it's important to protect anything good and discourage anything bad. If our actions only influenced our own happiness, or if we all recognized and corrected any imbalance we caused, a collective response to individual action wouldn't be necessary, but our actions can destroy balance, and a response is necessary. Justice is the system responsible for preserving fundamental balance, and protecting what is good. It's the immune system of society, and one of the organizing forces that prevents chaos.

Justice

Peaceful society can only be sustained when threats against that peace are discouraged, and destructive behaviors are stopped and corrected. Again, if individuals fully policed their own behavior a system of justice wouldn't be as necessary, but by nature those who most threaten a society also least successfully control or correct their own behavior. Therefore, a justice system is necessary for the preservation of society.

Justice is based on laws (rules that identify what society sees as net destructive or net benefit—like antibodies created with each new threat) and consequences (enforcement of punishments or rewards that restore balance). It provides the equal and opposite reaction when laws are disregarded. That said, punishment is meant to restore balance, so it's only necessary to the extent that natural consequences haven't already restored balance. Cruel or excessive punishments don't restore balance. They simply swing the pendulum back to the other side, creating a cycle of imbalance, and imbalance is destructive—the reason why consequences should be equal, opposite, and modified as balance requires.

When done properly, justice discourages destructive behaviors and protects growth without creating a culture of fear. It prevents society's descent into chaos. As intelligent beings it's our privilege—and defining characteristic—to act more than to be acted upon, but justice is an exception when we choose to live in a society. Accepting the benefits of community is consent for justice to act upon us.

Justice is a fundamental human need. We understand it instinctively. Have you ever been falsely accused or punished unfairly? Few things ignite a stronger or more immediate indignation. A system of justice helps satisfy that deep psychological/emotional need, creating the assurance and trust necessary for people to live peacefully together. Punishment and reward may not change an individual's behavior, but effective justice improves our collective behavior and happiness.

Our need for agency and self-driven change makes it unwise to mandate morality, or to scare people into doing what's right, but every society needs to identify destructive behaviors, and the weight of consequence necessary to restore balance to society when those behaviors occur. Unfortunately, we're all imperfect, and so is our lawmaking, law enforcement, and application of punishment. Improper application of a justice system (cruelty, bias, closed-mindedness or apathy, incompetence, inconsistency, weakness, etc.) destroys the trust and growth it was meant to preserve, and adds to the imbalance it was meant to correct. Like autoimmune disease, an overactive or defective system causes damage to itself.

However, a healthy immune system doesn't guarantee health. A society where the majority embraces destructive behaviors is like a body giving in to infection in spite of its immune system—destruction being the inevitable result.

It's often said that justice is blind. Justice applies consequence to action. Full stop. Nothing is required for justice to do its work beyond an accurate understanding of the action itself, and the law (consequence) that applies to it. Justice isn't only blind—it has no memory, no feeling, no context, no perspective. In practice, justice simply applies predetermined consequences to predefined behaviors, regardless of context and circumstance. So, the result of justice alone isn't always the intended balance. It's simple, constant, universal, and rigid, like gravity. Drop something, and it will fall to the ground. But falling—like punishment—isn't the goal.

Birds aren't magically unaffected by gravity. They escape the usual effect of gravity by applying other laws. Not only is that escape possible —it's achieved by every creature or creation that applies the necessary principles. Gravity isn't destroyed. Its negative effects are simply overcome. Similarly, the undesirable effects (and shortcomings) of justice can be resolved by mercy.

Mercy

Mercy is a complex system that applies many principles in harmony—not to destroy justice, but to perfect it. Mercy provides the sight, the memory, feeling, context, and perspective justice lacks. It provides the flexibility necessary to keep the system from breaking. Where justice applies consequence based on action alone, Mercy modifies that consequence based on an understanding of the individual and circumstance: the capacity, motives, intent, awareness, options available, upbringing, autonomy, history, regret, consequences already suffered, and reparations already made. Mercy acknowledges that some individuals do manage their own behavior, and even when they fail to prevent an error they take steps to correct the imbalance they caused. It's possible, if rare, for balance to be fully restored without the involvement of a justice system. This doesn't destroy justice—it fulfills the purpose for which justice exists.

Mercy is more than individualized justice. It also includes complete, even undeserved relief. But that can only be done without destroying balance when two conditions are met: first, justice still has to be paid in full by someone, and second, we have to qualify for that relief by meeting the demands of whoever paid justice on our behalf. Qualifying for something doesn't mean we earned or deserved it. It also doesn't mean we're completely free of obligation. If someone else pays your debt, you aren't free of debt. You're simply indebted to that person, who sets the new terms. That transfer of debt and change of terms is usually only fair if requested (or where the person can't or doesn't know to ask).

Not only should mercy be requested—it's most effective when there's evidence of desire to change and right the wrong, of having suffered for or corrected the error, or of diminished accountability. Overriding justice without justification or conditions isn't mercy—it's indulgence, permissiveness, foolishness, and a failure to preserve the balance of society. On the other hand, not applying mercy where it is justified is a greater failure. Mercy as an individual virtue (not the social mechanism) is best applied freely, even without request, as most of us lack the knowledge or authority to execute justice, and extending mercy qualifies us to receive it. Sooner or later, we all need it.

Mercy keeps justice constructive and society in balance, but its greatest benefit is individual progress. Mercy has a far greater tendency than justice to change, improve, and ultimately stop destructive behavior. Fear of punishment can discourage wrongdoing, but fear tends to ignite anger and rebellion, which drives individuals away from and against society. Fear isn't a sustainable motivator, and punishment isn't designed to improve people. Mercy, on the other hand, is based on understanding, sympathy, empathy, and love, and promotes a greater desire for virtue and unity in those who receive it.

Justice & Mercy

By participating in and accepting the benefits of a society we give our implicit consent to be governed by the laws of justice and mercy of that society. We aren't justified in pretending we owe nothing back, or that we're somehow exempt from the demands of its system of justice. The more we benefit from it or take its finite resources, and the more capacity we have to give back, the greater our responsibility is. There's no logic that justifies us in taking more than we give. Mercy protects those who lack the capacity to give back, but not those who lack the will. Society is an ecosystem, and ecosystems only survive when they remain in balance. Choosing to be a net detriment (taking more than we give, or destroying more than we build—like parasites) only justifies society in removing us for its own survival. Our individual truth and virtue (not accumulated assets) allow us to be a net benefit, to avoid the demands of justice, and to enjoy happiness ourselves.

As mentioned, virtues in isolation become vices. A virtue like justice not tempered by a virtue like mercy becomes destructive (something illustrated by Javert in Les Miserábles). Being imperfect people, our application of justice and mercy will also be imperfect, but they're still critically necessary parts of every relationship, family, and society, and perfecting them should be a priority.

A society that understands what justice is, identifies net destructive behaviors, determines consequences that will properly restore balance, refines those consequences on an individual basis, then carefully applies them or alleviates them where there's evidence of change, will have successfully protected the pursuit of happiness. It remains the responsibility of individuals to find happiness by governing their own behavior, seeking truth, and developing virtue, but a just and merciful society allows us to do so.

Achieving justice and mercy never happens by accident. Justice requires collective acknowledgment of destructive behavior, establishment and careful enforcement of laws, awareness of action, and active pursuit of knowledge. Mercy requires intent, patience, open-mindedness, trust, desire to understand unique and complex circumstances, and sometimes a willingness to assume payment on behalf of others. They're based wholly on truth and virtue.

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There are things we need to know, and things we need to feel to successfully preserve balance and happiness for ourselves and our society. Thoughts and feelings are also the definition of life experience, the fuel of memory, and the power behind everything we do. That power is greatest when they're combined. We need Logic and Feeling.

Happiness, being a state of life, relies on the life-preserving attributes of knowledge, reason, focus, action, and connection to reality. Being a state of growth, it also requires energy, emotion, desire, motivation, and connection. The highest state of being is more than just rational thought or a pleasant feeling. It's a blend of understanding and feeling and being—a marriage of logic and emotion.

Logic

Logic is the process of and metric for identifying truth. It applies what we do know to what we don't yet understand, to help identify what is safe to accept as truth. Logic preserves truth, wisdom, justice, and progress—and therefore happiness—as well as the methods and tools that provide knowledge and preserve life. It's logic and reason that enable advancements in science and technology, that promote order and fairness, that calm and correct destructive emotions, and that dispel lies. Logic is structured and stable, and it preserves structure and stability.

Logic is helpful, but limited by what we know, remember, and perceive. Until we accurately understand, perceive, and remember everything, our logic won't be perfect, either. But, even imperfect logic can still be constructive. Logic doesn't hurt. More accurately, it doesn't feel at all. It's calm, unemotional, and cerebral—but hollow. This makes it particularly attractive to those who are tired of, afraid of, or incapable of feeling. While escaping emotion might sound appealing, hollowness isn't happiness. Reason is helpful, and can eliminate many of the unnecessary troubles of life, but it's a disappointing replacement for happiness. Logic is exceptional at providing the how, but not the why. Think too hard, and you'll miss the point of everything.

Feelings

Emotion is how we experience, process, and react to reality. It also communicates to others what we're experiencing. Virtue creates pleasant emotions (gratitude, awe, inspiration, motivation, and love). The fresh understanding of truth brings clarity and excitement. Positive feelings help us recognize what is good. Vice and destruction, on the other hand, cause feelings of sadness, disgust, repulsion, embarrassment, and frustration—unpleasant emotions that help us consciously identify what is bad. What we feel doesn't make us good or bad. It helps us see what is good or bad. And we can learn to gauge how constructive or destructive our own actions are by the way others express emotion (words, tone, and body language). Emotions are a universal language.

In addition to communicating, feelings also motivate us to action. Feelings like desire and conscience are the fuel that help us sustain our efforts over the long term. Only in the absence of feeling can you appreciate the direction and power they provide, and the paralysis they prevent. Some things are very hard to do unless you feel strongly about them.

At a basic level, feelings help us survive. Hunger tells us when to eat, thirst reminds us we need hydration, and exhaustion that we need to rest. There are feelings to warn us when we get too hot or too cold, or when we've eaten too much or too little. Feelings help us identify infection and other conditions. Pain alerts us to injury. In general, discomfort helps us recognize a need for change. Feelings of attraction create friendships, partnerships, and often children. Paying attention to feelings does an exceptional job of keeping us alive and well. Ignoring feelings ultimately results in some of our needs not being met.

Animals migrate thousands of miles to precise locations at very specific times, guided by instinctive impulses that help them find food, survive weather patterns, and mate. Built-in guides are not always conscious or logical, but they're typically accurate and beneficial. Trying to reason our way through every part of life instead of listening to these cues creates a mental burden that paying attention to feelings can relieve. They bring subtle, abstract, subconscious truths to the surface where we can consciously and constructively act on them, for our well-being.

Feelings can be helpful, but still need to be controlled and cultivated. Regulated emotion is valuable and constructive; unmanaged, it tends to destabilize. Even anger and fear—notoriously destructive emotions—can be productive when managed, helping us correct problems and improve circumstances. Managing our feelings is one of life's most difficult and constant tasks. Some feelings should be acted on, while others should be acknowledged, adjusted, or ignored. First, we consciously recognize and process those feelings. Then, like taming a horse, it's a matter of controlling and mastering (not suppressing and killing) something of great power. Once we're in control, the difficulty subsides and we have a powerful, constructive ally.

What you feel isn't really a reflection of what you are. What you feel may be outside your control. It's what you do with (or in spite of) your feelings that actually matters, and that most affects your happiness. This makes self-control one of the most constantly essential virtues.

Cultivating feeling is as important as controlling it. Once our emotions are managed, greater emotion adds to happiness. Increasing our capacity to feel is facilitated by great art, religion, service, family and friendships, and other constructive efforts. Sometimes, we just need to allow ourselves to feel, or give ourselves time and space to feel. Managing our own wellness unlocks clear, deep feelings based on reality.

Each feeling falls somewhere on the spectrum of physiology and consciousness. Some, like anger, anxiety, or surprise, are deeply physical; basic biological defaults we all tend to share. Others, like love, hope, trust, curiosity, or edification are more subtle and complex. The state of our body and mind tends to affect emotion, making it important to keep our body in good health. In poor health of any kind the higher and more complex emotions become difficult, if not impossible, to access, leaving us with only the more basic ones—and the [correct] sense of being disconnected from reality. When we're well we're more able to experience the entire range of emotion, and reality itself. Health matters.

Not all feelings are constructive or tied to reality. In spite of being real experiences themselves, some emotions are distorted by perception or poor health. Without a healthy mind or accurate understanding of truth, emotions can easily lead to destructive action. Being tired or hungry can be enough. Hormones, medications, alcohol, and other substances act like a fun-house mirror, amplifying, suppressing, and distorting our feelings. So, acting on feelings alone is unwise.

Without emotion we can't fully experience or understand love or peace, suffering or conflict, progress or loss. Moderated feelings can guide us to physical/mental/emotional health. Emotion provides energy, motivation, desire, and the "why" of life, but doesn't help much in the "how" department. It's a key part of experiencing happiness, but requires the moderating, guiding structure of logic.

Logic & Feelings

Both logic and feeling guide us toward truth. Truth is our connection to reality (past, present, and future). Our understanding of the past is based on memory. Memory is dependent on how clearly we understand and how deeply we feel the present. Our understanding of the future is based on how we see the trends and patterns of the past, and on reasonable assurances. So, logic and feeling are our connection to all of reality.

Both logic and feeling guide us toward virtue. Virtue is net gain, and therefore logical. Conscience helps us feel the importance of virtue, and the feeling of happiness confirms it.

Logic and feeling are each good at some things, and bad at others. Logic is a terrible motivator, and emotion is a terrible decision-making strategy. Neither achieves complete happiness on its own. It's illogical to trade happiness for logic, just as it's foolish to trade happiness for raw emotion. Logic isn't foolproof, and emotion isn't always constructive. But, joined together, they enable life and a more perfect happiness. They balance, complement, and strengthen each other. Logic moderates and guides emotion. Emotion motivates and directs logic. Logic helps us know how to act on feelings. Emotion is how we experience the full benefit of our logical decisions. Together, they preserve both the how and the why of life.

It's common for people who prefer logic to find fault with those who prefer emotion, and vice versa. To a mostly logical person, a more emotional one can seem needlessly and destructively erratic. A particularly emotional person might see a purely rational one as needlessly and destructively cold and insensitive. And both would be right.

As is the case with all polarizations, it's a false choice. The truth is in the middle. Not only do we not need to choose between the two—we should not. Both are critical to happiness, and should be developed with equal effort. Relaxing logic enough to open our hearts is as hard as controlling emotion enough to open our minds, but finding balance between the two is a key to happiness.

Love

Love is one of life's most powerful feelings (love—not just sexual attraction), and arguably one of the most logical and beneficial from nearly every perspective. More than any other characteristic, love blends logic and emotion, truth and virtue, to bring about personal and collective growth and happiness.

L ove isn't a single virtue. It's a collection of virtues, and at its core it's a unifying desire that induces us to seek the well-being of others—even at the sacrifice of things we want for ourselves. It combines selflessness, patience, generosity, open-mindedness, tolerance, mercy, and humility. It makes us want to be with others, to help them find happiness, to benefit from their strengths and share ours with them. Love causes constant, willful, significant effort to help others.

Loving relationships are mutually beneficial, empowering and protecting those involved by sharing strengths and burdens and goals. Loving societies would do the same. They bring happiness and growth to everyone, and eliminate conflict and inequality.

Relationships and societies based mostly on assets (e.g. physical attraction, power, or wealth) are parasitic—each member focused on taking what they can, with self-interest dragging them down and driving them apart. Those relationships decline with the assets on which they're based.

Societies built solely on the pursuit of prosperity are naturally divided between those who have, and those who don't. When "success" means extracting from each other as much money, land, power, praise, or advantage as possible, the very obvious result is separation, imbalance, inequality, individualism, conflict, and vice—the true opposite of success. The unmoderated pursuit of wealth always leads to destructive behavior. That's a high price for something that isn't happiness.

There's a reason we use the phrase, "fabric of society." The individual threads of a fabric are simple and weak, but the more unified, ordered, and interdependent those threads are, the stronger, more useful, and more beautiful the whole fabric becomes. Rope isn't strong because of an individual thread. The more a single strand tries to carry the whole burden, the more likely failure becomes. It's the unification of many weak threads that leads to strength. Unity is both logical and emotional. Unity brings strength and order and peace, and love creates it.

Love fixes destructive behaviors (much like mercy) by addressing the flawed motives behind them. It doesn't just tolerate flaws—it converts them into virtues. It unifies us in lifting us all toward more perfect behavior. Vice can also temporarily unify (e.g., mobs, organized crime, insurrection, and terrorism), but only to a certain extent, and never with a net effect of happiness.

Love is as instinctive as our pursuit of happiness. It's consistently the subject of art, music, drama, dance, literature, philosophy, religion, commerce, and even science. We like how it makes us feel, but sometimes forget its farther-reaching benefits. When tempered by other virtues, love truly is the greatest single source of happiness. We can't claim we want peace for the world until we're willing to love everyone in it.

Logic and emotion—consciously considering and constructively acting on our feelings—is a key to happiness. It's as wise to develop logic as it is to embrace feeling. We need both. Take time to think. Consider your thoughts. Allow yourself to feel. Align thoughts and feelings to reality, and moderate them with virtue. Develop love. Truth is more than logic, and virtue more than feeling, but they work harmoniously, unlocking the capacity to fully experience true happiness.

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At this point you likely are or should be wondering, "but what about [x, y, or z]?" It's certainly true there are exceptions. We aren't all the same. Identity and personality aside, our circumstances can be radically different. Unusual though they may be, it's important to try to understand those circumstances both for the benefit of those suffering through them, and for ourselves (as we may eventually find ourselves in the same situation). We have the most to learn from what is most confusing, and few things are more confusing than Circumstances and Exceptions.

Knowing principles gives you the ability to understand, predict, and influence what's around you. Knowledge is power, and principles are the most powerful kind of knowledge—the rules and patterns of life. Principles like truth and virtue are central to happiness, and the vast majority of the time they work as expected, but sometimes, for some people (maybe for you) the outcome may appear to be different.

Truth is consistent by definition, so whatever seems like inconsistency in a true principle is actually something else. It's usually an uncommon or unfamiliar collision of realities (other principles and circumstances) that causes the unexpected outcome. That it was unexpected means there's something we didn't understand. If we don't understand the exceptions, we don't fully understand the principle. The better you understand the exceptions the better you can prepare, set reasonable expectations, and help others.

Bodies are our most constant and probably most complicated circumstance. When you consider the number of cells, tissues, and systems that have to work properly for you to be in good health, it's a miracle any of us ever are. The more parts a system has, the more probable it is that one will fail. Bodies tend to work well, but in their vast complexity, surrounded by countless environmental variables, failure happens. That can be as simple as a mole on your arm, or as serious as death. Some of our choices influence how reliable our bodies will be, but external circumstances beyond our control can, too.

When we're completely healthy we have control over our decisions, more control over our circumstances, and principles like truth and virtue will usually just work. When we're not well, our perception, energy, and ability to act and change can be very limited. Experiences that are normal for others can become impossible for us. We may not be able to feel, focus, or remember. It's like being shut out of life—a barrier between what we experience, and what everyone else appears to experience. That feeling of isolation is difficult, but there's hope. Learning to understand exceptions can bring peace to you, if you're the one experiencing them, or capacity to help, if you're not. Either way, understanding the effect of circumstances and exceptions on well-being and happiness is a key.

Circumstance

Circumstance is current reality. It's everything in and around us that acts on us. Being intelligent beings, we can make decisions and change some of those circumstances, but others remain outside our control. Some of our circumstances come from our own past actions. Most are either natural, or the effects of other people's actions. Our genetics are a circumstance into which we are born. The weather is a natural circumstance. The opportunities and resources available to us, the peace or conflict surrounding us are circumstances—things we may be able to influence, but only to the extent other circumstances permit.

They say life isn't fair, which requires very little power of observation. Looking only at the relatively short period from birth to death, and how different our life experiences are, it's hard to argue otherwise. Some people work multiple jobs most of their life to just scrape by. Some can't work at all. Some endure life-long pain, abuse, war, injustice, and/or deprivation. Another portion of this world is born into freedom, safety, health, wealth, loving families, and communities that provide every opportunity. Everyone starts life with a different set of cards. We're all affected differently by opportunity and catastrophe, but while circumstance affects us all, it defines none of us.

Our minds are wired to look for patterns in life, which helps us survive and progress. Life can be chaotic, and chaos means uncertainty, which we don't like. Patterns help us find order and predictability. But we're also wired to pay attention to variations in patterns. Our eyes are drawn to whatever is out of place, or unexpected. We pay attention when someone does something out of character. If you saw someone with three eyes, you'd remember it. Principles are the patterns of reality. Exceptions are deviations from those patterns that reveal more complex realities—and the need to try to understand the principles involved.

The Bell Curve

Most circumstances still fall within reach of happiness, but on the extremes there are exceptions. You may already be familiar with the bell curve—the visual representation of a pattern in life: that average is not just roughly in the middle of the extremes—it's also more common. Extremes being more rare, the curve starts low on one end, rises in the middle (like a bell), and drops down again on the high end. This observation applies to countless parts of life—happiness being one of them.

Looking at all of humanity, there aren't many who are utterly, constantly miserable, and similarly few who would claim to be perfectly, constantly happy. The majority of us are somewhere in the middle. However, the bell curve also indicates something important: few though they might be, there still are people on the extremes. Their exceptional circumstances deserve attention—both as a reminder for us to offer help to those at the bottom, and an opportunity to learn from the fortunate few at the top.

Attribution Flaw

We all fail, sometimes. Life is complicated, and none of us are perfect. That should make us less quick to criticize, but responding appropriately to failure (or success) and learning from it is often sabotaged by a human default: blaming our own failings on circumstance, and the failings of others on flawed character. At the same time, we chalk up our own successes to good character, and the successes of others to circumstance. For example:

" I'm late to class because I was stuck behind a slow car on a one-lane road. You're late to class because you don't care, and don't ever leave early enough to get anywhere on time."

" I'm on time because I'm careful and organized. You're on time because you live closer, have more reliable transportation, or someone reminded you."

" I'm poor because of low wages, catastrophe, injustice, etc. You're poor because you're lazy, foolish, and bad with money."

" I'm rich because I was smart and hardworking and prepared. You're rich because of luck, being in the right place at the right time, or inheriting wealth."

Beyond the terrible irony, this pattern of thinking fails to produce happiness or harmony because it's a disconnect from truth. It doesn't acknowledge the fact that truth is in the middle —that we all succeed or fail because of a combination of character and circumstance. Those who are wealthy and those who are poor, those who are well-educated and those who are ignorant, those who win and those who lose, all have those outcomes because of some combination of both character and circumstance. The ability to work hard means you were fortunate enough to have sufficient mental, emotional, and/or physical health (a circumstance). Being in the right place at the right time can also be the result of wise preparation and patiently seeking out opportunity (virtue). We should never be too proud of our own accomplishments, too dismissive of others', too quick to offload the responsibility for our failures, or too willing to judge others for theirs. Virtue is less visible than assets and circumstance, so it's a bad idea to judge others (in general, but certainly by just what we see with our eyes).

Though outcomes are caused by both circumstance and character, that split isn't 50/50. Circumstance has more impact on assets. Character has more impact on happiness. Circumstance can be overpowering (mental illness, brain damage, environmental factors, injury, bad information, catastrophe, war, unjust and broken systems, etc.), so our outcomes are often a poor indication of our efforts and character. On the other hand, we can usually develop a strength of character that enables us to be and do good in spite of circumstance, and find happiness regardless of our assets.

Well-being

You're a complex being made of cells, tissues, organs, and systems, each with its own needs. But, those needs are connected. Every part of you is interdependent. One system failing can cause the rest to fail. So, well-being isn't compartmentalized. Your physical well-being is connected to your mental, emotional, and all other types of well-being.

We share most of the same needs: warmth, nutrition and clean water, rest, care, love, security… Simple things. In a functional society, those needs should be easily met. What we collectively have (when combined with concern for one another and a bit of ingenuity) is enough. The fact that we've failed for so long in our efforts to achieve universal well-being—the main objective of society—points to a deficit not so much of resources, but of truth, virtue, and will.

Well-being isn't all there is to happiness, but it is a prerequisite because happiness is based on progress, and progress requires that our needs be met. Needs are needs because they are required for life and growth, and not having them results in damage or destruction. A plant won't grow without adequate light, water, and minerals. You won't grow, either, unless your specific needs are met (wants are a different story, so it's wise to perceive the difference).

There are lower needs and higher needs, and we struggle to think beyond our most basic unmet need (it's hard to climb a ladder that's missing the bottom rungs). Our thoughts and emotions are impacted by our state of wellness. If we aren't well, our focus naturally shifts from the long-term purpose of life to the short-term preservation of life—a reasonable re-prioritization. When you fall off a boat, you don't worry too much about getting to your destination on time, or what you're going to wear. Not drowning is good enough. A person in survival mode isn't as capable of the clear, rational, outward, long-term thought necessary for happiness and growth. Desperation kicks in, then reinforces itself by limiting our ability to make wise choices. Crisis can rob us of options, energy, autonomy, and progress. And for some, crisis is a permanent state of life.

Need can make us dependent on others. Whether or not society caused the circumstances leading to that desperation (which it sometimes does), it benefits both society and the individual for everyone to pitch in and help address the unmet needs. The basic idea of society is that we share burdens and strengths for the benefit of all. When someone falls off our boat, pointing fingers is far less helpful than extending a hand, and saving one person helps everyone. Well-being requires that we help each other.

It's our individual responsibility to prevent and overcome personal crises to the extent we can, but we all want to avoid them, and they happen anyway. It's foolish, destructive, and usually unfair to blame the victim. Even when the victim is at fault, the poor outcomes are often punishment enough. Suffering is an effective object lesson. Helping those who need and want help is key to greater well-being in the future. Often enough, crisis is caused by one person, and experienced by another.

Well-being is intertwined with physical health. Health is an asset, so we don't have total control over it. We can be born with or without it, successfully develop it or have it taken away. Poor mental, emotional, or physical health limit our capacity to grow in truth or virtue, and can destroy our ability to experience emotion at all. Most of us do have control over our health, and it's a tragedy when we willingly throw that away through poor nutrition, inadequate sleep, lack of exercise, chemical dependency, and other needlessly risky or damaging activities. Taking care of our bodies doesn't only extend our life. It enables us to achieve and experience happiness—to live a better life.

Financial well-being is also an asset and circumstance. As long as money remains a part of society, it will affect our survival, and too little will trigger survival mode and its self-perpetuating spiral of desperation. Unlike health, however, there's a finite quantity of money in the world (a fact that gives money its value in the first place). That means that what one person gains, someone else loses, and simply creating more devalues what everyone has. So, the moment we take more than we need is the moment we start to cause deprivation for others, unless and until we've guaranteed everyone's needs are met first. Blaming the poor for their poverty ignores [at the very least] this fact that money is finite. There isn't enough for everyone to have what the wealthiest have—regardless of effort or cleverness. Sharing is fundamental to collective well-being.

As long as society requires money to meet basic needs, the responsibility of correcting inequality will fall primarily on those who possess more than they need. Giving up what we have but don't need is a small sacrifice with huge benefits. And those do it attest to the happiness it creates (for themselves and others).

The infinite capacity and potential happiness of humanity relies on wellness—and consequently our willingness to take care of ourselves and each other.

Exceptions

Principles help you understand what to expect, but there are always exceptions. Recipes tend to work, but variables (like bacteria, humidity, temperature, air pressure, method, or time) can change the outcome, even if you follow the recipe exactly. Underlying health conditions and genetics affect the effects of exercise. A standard method or technique may not work for someone with physical limitations. Gravity pulls most things downward, but bubbles, balloons, thermals, and other things less dense than their immediate surroundings will be pushed upward, not because gravity is a big fat lie, but because its effects are relative and sometimes overpowered by other laws. Exceptions aren't the failure of a principle—just the intersection of multiple principles.

When someone if affected differently by natural laws it would certainly be strange and flawed to assume that unchangeable, universal principles have suddenly, arbitrarily stopped working, or only apply to certain people. It's more accurate (and more constructive) to recognize those variations as an indication of other forces at play, and an opportunity to better understand them.

We don't enjoy confusion, so we often close our minds to anything confusing. But, exceptions are important to understand because we will eventually find ourselves affected by them. When that happens—when happiness suddenly seems impossible, or truth and virtue appear unreliable, maintaining proper perspective becomes difficult. We can survive difficult circumstances and even turn them into an opportunity for growth if we remember a few facts:

• Perception isn't the same as reality
• True principles don't change
• Life isn't homogeneous
• You're never as alone as you feel
• Circumstances don't define worth or happiness
• There's a reason and season for everything

Perception isn't the same as reality

The state of your mind or your emotional and physical health can dramatically impact your ability to experience many parts of life—from sights, sounds, and smells to emotions, motivations, and happiness itself. It doesn't mean they're not there, but you may lack the ability to perceive them as others do.

There's a wide spectrum of wellness between those who are "whole," and those who are not—between people who enjoy mental clarity, emotional self-sufficiency, physical strength, and boundless energy, and those who are disconnected from reality, emotionally ill, physically limited, and suffering chronically from pain and other exhausting challenges. Being on the bottom end of the wellness spectrum means that principles of happiness may seem to not work at all. Again, not because the principles are untrue, but because those exceptional circumstances so thoroughly impact our ability to perceive and experience emotion, progress, focus, love, or energy—the facets of happiness. We do instinctively know that happiness is the point of life, so it's when we don't experience happiness or love that we start to question if there's a point.

Enjoying abnormally easy, unimpeded progress and happiness is the other uncommon extreme. For those on this end of the wellness spectrum, everything just seems to work, making it easy for them to fall prey to the false perception that life is just as easy for everyone else—and that unhappiness must be the result of character flaw. Either extreme can distort our perception.

True principles don't change

Truth is unchangeable, but one true principle can be overridden by another, just as gravity's effects are overcome by the principles that enable flight. Sometimes familiar principles are overpowered to our benefit, and at other times to our detriment. We crave justice, while it's in our favor, but eventually we hope mercy will overpower it. True principles are invincible and constant—which makes them so valuable to understand—but they do interact with one another. The complex dynamics between principles can create unusual circumstances.

Life isn't homogeneous

The world is complex, and full of variety. That makes life hard to predict—but also interesting and fulfilling. If everyone were like you, would there be any benefit in your existence, or value in meeting someone new? If every part of the world looked the same, would there be any joy in traveling? If every food were the same, would it provide much pleasure?

Similarly, every part of life will be a bit different. Expect change. Much of it will be good. Some of it will seem impossibly hard. At some point you'll feel out of place, or that life is unfair. Both may be true. It can also feel like principles aren't real and happiness is impossible. Both are un true. People are also not homogeneous, so we collectively possess a variety of strengths and weaknesses that allow us to help each other through the randomness of life—through the variations that make life meaningful and beautiful, though sometimes difficult.

You're never as alone as you feel

In a world with billions of people, you're never as alone or unique in your experiences as you may feel, regardless of how understanding and empathetic the people immediately around you may [or may not] be. Statistically speaking, someone, somewhere, at some time has probably experienced what you are now experiencing, or something very similar—and others likely will in the future. Seeking out those who have experienced and learned from circumstances like ours can help. Leaving behind a record of our own experience and lessons learned will help someone else. You are unique, but you're never alone, even in the most exceptional circumstances.

Circumstances don't define worth or happiness

Circumstance doesn't fully guarantee any specific outcome—good or bad. We're all impacted by circumstance, and it's choice that most affects our long-term outcomes. Ice may send you off the road, snow may slow you down, traffic may cause delays, construction may reroute you, but determination and patience will all but ensure you still arrive at your destination. The happiness we ultimately achieve is due to our choices, in spite of circumstance.

Placing someone in a situation does not cause them to be anything in particular. From one situation you may have as many outcomes as people you put into it. Human nature tends to be consistent, but our unique desires and choices can override our natural defaults, leading to an endless array of results that reveal what we really are. Our will is our identity. Our circumstances are just circumstances.

Worth and happiness are internal, so they're most affected by what is internal. The more knowledge and virtue you have, the less your happiness is influenced by anything else.

There's a reason and season for everything

We experience day and night, summer and winter. They happen because the earth spins, is slightly tipped, and goes around the sun. The kind of day or season you experience depends on your unique position on the earth. The kind of life we have will also be different from anyone else's, because of where and what we are. Our circumstances are intersecting ripples of natural laws and countless conscious decisions (not just our own).

We all have seasons of peace and growth, and periods of difficulty and loss. The changing-but-cyclical nature of life guarantees a time for everything—being normal or exceptional, successful or struggling. It brings challenges as well as hope. Winter doesn't last forever. Some struggles seem like they will never end, but they can still be full of growth, learning, love, and meaning. And there will be a time to enjoy the benefits of lessons painfully learned. Circumstances change, and if you choose to change as well (to progress), then those changes can lead to greater happiness. As challenging and unchangeable as your past may be, the future is still impressionable.

Experiencing exceptions is the best way to develop understanding of overriding principles, and grow in empathy for others with similar circumstances, and to overcome judgmentalism. Our brains are wired to pay attention to changes in a pattern, so we don't waste energy analyzing why the sun came up again this morning, but we'd put all our energy into figuring out why it didn't. Exceptional circumstances force us to stretch our minds, invest our energy, and develop an understanding of principles we might otherwise have ignored. This is an opportunity to grow in truth and virtue. It makes us capable of aiding those who currently find themselves struggling for survival and understanding, which in turn increases their happiness and our own. When struggling on the fringes ourselves we don't usually seek out the companionship of those who have breezed through life without difficulty. Instead, we crave the support and wisdom of a person who understands and has experienced our pain. Without feeling pain ourselves, we can never be that person for someone else. We can't give happiness, but we can give support, improve the circumstances of those in need, and aid in their well-being.

A life that doesn't deviate at all from our expectations, hopes, dreams, plans, or comfort zone will also fail to provide the deeper benefits of experience, understanding, empathy, joy, resilience, and progress that come from circumstances we wouldn't seek. Carrying weight is uncomfortable, unpleasant, and exhausting, but it's the only way to grow stronger. Uncertainty can be scary, but venturing into the unknown and unplanned is the only place where discovery is ever made. Suffering perfects us in ways that only suffering can. When painful circumstances come we can choose to give in to self pity and despair, or we can draw from the bottomless spring of hope and turn those experiences into growth that provides deep empathy and durable happiness.

The incredible breadth of human experience makes life much more worth living. It encompasses unimaginable pain, as well as deep joy. A small part will be familiar. A larger part will be normal. But all of it, with it's challenges and rewards, is there for us to learn—to experience for ourselves and through others. You may find yourself on the fringe, but you are still part of the swirling, dynamic whole of humanity, and will find yourself where others have been, just as others will find themselves some day in your shoes. Circumstances from the perspective of individuals may look like insurmountable problems. In the broader context of society, they are completely manageable issues; natural variations in a larger pattern. Circumstances are simply where you are, not who you are. Giving and accepting help is the purpose of community.

Don't underestimate the power of circumstances and exceptions to teach truth and virtue. There's little in life that provides a better opportunity for growth in understanding, empathy, love, and ultimately happiness. Perfecting and purifying is always a harsh process, but it's worth the pain. We don't need to seek out or add to our own struggles—life seems to provide a full dose of suffering on its own—but for the sake of everyone's progress, we should watch for and help those who find themselves outside the realm of happiness.

If you are the one living an exception and fighting against circumstance, just keep going. Trust in principles: in truth and virtue. Learn what you can from your current perspective, and lend a hand to the many others who need that perspective. Accept help. Ask for help. Others need to give it as much as you need to receive it. You may not see or feel it now, but you'll be getting closer to happiness, and helping others do the same.

There's no way to build a boat that guarantees good weather, so we build boats to survive any kind of weather. Truth and virtue don't eliminate challenges, but they give you the power to come out on top. Just hang on, and do your best.

–

Empathy is learning to feel what others feel, and caring like you're experiencing what they are. Difficult and exceptional circumstances, as unpleasant as they are, are uniquely good at helping us understand and empathize. When you're suffering, it's much more comforting to receive support from someone who has suffered in the same way—to feel understood. Suffering gives you the power to offer that kind of comfort, and provide hope.

Hope can be hard to sustain because we need it most in times of difficulty,precisely when suffering narrows our vision, drains us of energy, and causes us to fear the future. But, hopelessness is destructive, and therefore wrong. What is there to hope for? Where do we find the energy and patience to hope in the face of suffering, poor circumstances, and failure? That's the subject of Faith and God.

At some point in our journey to knowledge and virtue we crash into the hard reality that we simply can't go far enough on our own. There are things we can't do or change, even as a group. Sometimes, we can't find the truth, achieve wellbeing, alter our circumstances, change our behaviors, or fix what we've broken. We're not yet perfect, after all. But, there's hope for happiness, even while we're short on knowledge and virtue. It has to do with faith.

The word "faith," like the word "happiness," has been used so loosely its meaning may not be clear. In a broad sense, faith is an assurance that leads to action. Justified trust, in other words. In the same way that logic helps us trust certain information based on what we've already learned, faith helps us trust certain things based on what we've already experienced. Assurance comes from past experience (truth), and confidence in people (because of their virtue). Getting out of bed every morning is an act of faith—a confidence that the effort will be worth it, supported by other successful adventures in getting out of bed. Every effort is based on hope or expectation of future benefits. Everyone has this kind of faith, and uses it daily. The future is uncertain, making faith a fundamental part of life.

We might have faith in the laws of nature, faith in systems or institutions, faith in things we've created and those who created them, faith in the people around us, or faith in ourselves. We put our lives in the hands of others on a constant basis because of that trust. Driving a car requires trust in those who designed, built, tested, regulated, sold, and trained us to use it, trust in the roads and those who create and maintain them, trust in our own ability to pilot the vehicle safely, trust in transit laws to produce safety, trust in those around us to not break those laws, and even a general trust that the effort of driving the vehicle to our destination will produce some benefit. Every act requires faith. The greater the task, the more faith is required. The greater the faith, the easier that effort becomes.

Trust is often broken. People (including ourselves), products, or systems can fail. We don't always see the expected benefits. That can lead to doubt, distrust, fear, a lack of confidence, and an unwillingness to take healthy risks. It might even seem wise to not have faith, but here's why it isn't. First, faith is required for any action. Second, acts of doubt, fear, distrust, uncertainty, indecisiveness, and hesitancy consistently produce poor results. Faith isn't only fundamental to life. It's inherently good. Greater trust results in greater growth and happiness, which in turn reinforces that trust and creates a positive feedback loop. When people are trusted it encourages them to become more trustworthy. Doubt and distrust are also self-reinforcing, destructive, and consequently wrong. So, a key to happiness is choosing to have faith, and to trust.

We usually have to choose between trusting what isn't perfect, or not trusting at all. That said, the more perfect a person, product, or system is, the greater the assurance and faith it can produce—and therefore confidence, trust, energy, and willingness to act. The full benefit of faith only comes when it's based on something (or someone) perfect.

God

Any thorough discussion of truth and virtue is bound to land on the subject of God, the being believed by much of humanity to be the source and embodiment of both truth and virtue (not to mention the creator of all things).

Happiness is the point of life, so anything that significantly affects our happiness matters. That means the topic of God's existence is an important one. It affects our daily decisions, our faith, and our hope, all of which determine the trajectory of our life and therefore our eventual degree of happiness. Whether or not we believe in a god matters, and the kind of god in which we believe also matters.

Assuming that intelligent life's most fundamental motivation is happiness, and that the accumulation of truth and virtue leads to happiness and ultimately the growth and perfection of individuals and societies, it's reasonable to assume any real god would be the result of that kind of process. A perfect being would have progressed like all other intelligent life, from an imperfect state, to a state of perfect power and happiness through the gathering of knowledge and the development of virtue.

Considering the progress we've made over the just the last hundred years in the advancement of maths, science, medicine, engineering, art, communication, and access to information (in spite of our imperfection), it's easy to imagine a time in the not-so-distant future when humanity will have achieved the ability to travel to other worlds and populate them with its own creations. And if we have the potential to do it, a more perfect society would be even more capable of it. It's a small logical step to imagine a being sufficiently perfect to have created and populated this earth. And the intent of that effort—the motivation of any being full of truth and virtue—would be happiness.

If you had assurance (through some form of evidence) of a god's reality and of their perfect nature, you'd also be able to rely with complete faith on any communication from them as a shortcut to happiness. They could have observed the lives of countless individuals over countless years, so their perspective would be perfect and priceless, and disregarding it would be foolish. It's reasonable to assume that a god would communicate the principles we're ready to receive and implement, but not more than we can handle. Faith being constructive, that would mean less proof than we're inclined to want, but enough to progress toward greater truth, virtue, and happiness (and more as we become ready for it). Simply knowing we have a perfectly loving, all-knowing, all-powerful ally would bring hope, peace, and confidence—to the extent that we align ourselves to them.

Whether or not you believe in a god, having a clear understanding of truth, virtue, wisdom, justice, mercy, balance, equality, logic, emotion, and circumstance will give you a standard by which you can gauge what a god would be like, and judge between our conflicting perceptions of god. Why should we attempt such a thing? Because it helps identify truth. Because those conflicting [and therefore not wholly accurate] opinions about god have driven thousands of years of war, conflict, suffering, despair, and destruction. That's certainly not the intent or will of any real god, whose efforts would be focused on the happiness, unity, and growth of mankind. They are the natural and obvious result of our own willful ignorance and vice —the usual source of destruction and misery.

If there's a god—an eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful creator—they'd understand happiness. They'd be happy, so they'd work to support our happiness. That means preserving our freedom, and teaching, promoting, encouraging, and reminding us of truth and virtue. They'd know that happiness is internal and the result of knowledge gained and virtue developed through personal experience, because they'd have acquired truth and virtue in the same way. They'd provide us with the conditions necessary for growth and learning: opportunity to invest and sacrifice, challenges to strengthen us and help us learn from and rely on one another with empathy, and the chance to practice making decisions—even destructive ones—for our own improvement, knowing that bad things happening to good people doesn't permanently prevent actual happiness.

Such a being wouldn't value one person or group more than another, but would judge and favor us based on our desires, and the truth and virtue we develop, instead of assets amassed. They wouldn't often insert themselves in our lives without our consent, but would help wisely upon request (like a parent, not a vending machine). And they'd organize those who listen to them into a system of balance, equality, and unity. In short, we'd expect more or less what we see in the world today: a life of freedom to choose how to act and what to believe, guided toward happiness by witnesses and records, where destruction remains the natural result of ignorance and vice, but happiness remains available (in spite of circumstance) to all who prioritize knowledge and virtue over immediate gratification, and who ask for help.

A god would have encouraged organizations for the careful distribution of truth, the care of those in need, and the peace and security of society (families, church, and government)—unity and happiness being the typical result. And, thanks to the vice common in mankind, we should expect to see alternatives pop up that align not with reality, but the beliefs and ambitions of those who created them (individualism, abuses, philosophies, extremism, secretive organizations, false religions, and manipulative forms of government), with conflict and misery being the natural consequence.

We would also expect a perfect, eternal being to have created mankind to have the possibility of infinite potential (hope of eternal growth being a facet of perfect happiness). And humanity, to the extent it gives in to misunderstandings and self-centeredness, would mischaracterize and blame that being for any unpleasantness that crops up in the meantime, and imagine false gods more like us—imperfect, selfish, domineering, warring, vengeful, fickle beings who toy with mankind and needlessly inflict suffering—in other words: convenient scapegoats for our own flaws and failures. No real god would manage earth with human-like autocracy and foolishness.

A true god (a perfect being) would encourage freedom, responsibility, and decision making based on long-term growth and happiness rather than immediate reward. It would be reasonable to expect they would provide a way for us to advance to their state of perfection and immortality if we wanted it, making the long-term reward for constructive action infinitely greater. They would prioritize our eternal happiness over our immediate happiness (seeing short-term suffering as a necessary and relatively tiny part of our complete existence). This eternal-perspective accounting would compensate for the seemingly absurd discrepancies in humankind's current peace, prosperity, and opportunity.

In short, an imperfect, unhappy world can't reasonably be blamed on a god, and only proves how much we still have to learn, and how much help we need.

Suffering

Polishing is the act of grinding down. Purification involves intense heat, corrosive chemicals, or pressure. The process of becoming better, stronger, and more useful is usually intense. While most of us would prefer to not suffer, it's what seems to improve us most. Nothing produces more understanding, sympathy, and empathy than suffering. Nothing in life makes us more grateful for what we have than loss. Nothing humbles us more than failure. Nothing reminds us of our need for others or provides opportunity for service like a crisis. Being deprived of resources teaches us to prioritize and share. In the face of destruction we finally self-evaluate with complete honesty. Suffering makes us patient, strong, empathetic, aware of others, and of our own flaws and needs, and therefore more connected and humble and useful—when we allow it to. The lessons learned from suffering over time lead to wisdom. If you want to be better, that's the effect suffering will have. If you want to be bitter, it can facilitate that for you as well. The result is determined by what you want (who you choose to be).

You can choose to develop virtue with or without suffering, and those who choose to serve and spend time around the less fortunate can learn a great deal from their suffering. But, we aren't always that wise. Suffering, it seems, teaches us what we wouldn't choose to learn on our own. Few things bring truth and virtue more quickly. We may enjoy blue skies, but all lands with uninterrupted blue skies are deserts. Rain brings life and growth.

Ease and comfort aren't wrong, but they don't do much for our progress or happiness. A tree protected from wind won't develop its full strength or depth. A muscle or bone deprived of resistance becomes fragile. A mind that isn't challenged doesn't grow. People protected from work, failure, or struggle lack strength, depth, endurance, understanding, and empathy. We want uninterrupted comfort, but not the effects of uninterrupted comfort. That's a disconnect from reality—one we need to fix.

But, suffering and misery aren't synonymous (nor are happiness and pleasure). Misery is a destructive state, a corruption and reduction of life, and the result of destructive thoughts and acts. Suffering is a temporary circumstance, and provides the perfect conditions for discovering the most valuable kinds of knowledge and virtue—and eventually happiness. There's no need to seek out pain—life usually provides as much as we need—but suffering is key to avoiding misery.

It's not that bad things happen to good people, any more than heavy things happen to strong people. It's that all kinds of things happen to all kinds of people, and suffering helps produce good people. Weight leads to strength. To some extent, it's causation, not correlation.

The age-old debate about why a god might cause or permit suffering reveals a fundamental misunderstanding about suffering, happiness, and godhood. That complaint (typically not an actual, honest question) assumes that suffering is a net loss. It assumes that happiness and suffering are opposites. And it assumes that a god permitting suffering means they're unjust and unkind. It isn't, they're not, and they can't be. If happiness is the point of life, any god would be happy, and would want our happiness. Suffering, effective as it is at producing knowledge and virtue, would be a natural part of that effort. No god would deprive us of that vehicle for growth or be foolish enough to always give us what we want (though they might intervene as needed), nor would they make us do what they want (which would limit suffering—but also progress). Suffering is a temporary side-effect of our very necessary freedom of choice.

Beyond the natural benefits of suffering, perfect justice would also require compensation for those who suffer for reasons other than their own choices. If part of us is eternal, that reward could come at any future time (making faith more necessary, and suffering more beneficial).

Whether suffering affects our faith in a god, or our happiness, is up to us. It's really not a question of logic. It's just a choice. We all suffer, then we all choose what to make of it. What effect do you want it to have?

–

We can judge the value of any belief or behavior by its net contribution to the happiness of humanity. The world's religions disagree on many points, and are therefore not all correct, but as always, we can look to overlap—to the absolute center—for the most accurate truths. Most acknowledge the existence of a god in some form, and the value of virtue (some version of the Golden Rule). Faith in a perfect god is the most logical and beneficial, and only those who believe in that kind of god can maximize happiness. Only a perfect god can provide hope of loving help, perfect justice, and absolute truth. Those who believe in a vengeful, discriminatory god will deprive themselves of hope, and justify themselves in being vengeful and discriminatory themselves (and in the process, make themselves miserable).

Belief in a perfect, eternal god leads naturally to belief in immortality and life beyond death, which elevates behavior to the most selfless and constructive kinds of action. It enables us to do good right now without expecting reward right now. Whether or not you exert that degree of faith, we all benefit from and owe something to those who improve society without expecting reward from society (just from god at some point after their death). It brings them satisfaction, and facilitates everyone else's well-being and happiness. That makes this kind of belief productive and objectively good. It's also logical and quite possibly true.

Few sources of sadness or pain are greater than the loss of loved ones, so it's hard to think of an idea with a greater potential impact on our happiness than life after death—particularly one in which we are reunited with our loved ones. It's equally difficult to imagine an idea that causes more despair, hopelessness, and apathy, or that encourages more destructive, short-sighted, self-gratifying behavior than the belief that death is the end of our existence. The concept that some part of us is eternal and survives beyond death (and existed before birth) is central to hope and faith and happiness (not to mention identity, agency, purpose, sacrifice, justice, etc.). It's supported by the frequent conflict between our deepest will and what our body wants, what we want to be, and currently are. It's also in line with the unusually common experience many have (even those who don't believe in a life after this one) of interaction with a deceased loved one, or an out-of-body experience. There's reason to believe we're more than just our body, and that part of us will continue to exist. That's a key to happiness—and to understanding ourselves and the rest of reality.

When boiled down, the promise of faith is a greater and more lasting happiness than we could otherwise achieve. Every person has a limit to the progress they can make on their own—a limit to the truth they can find, the virtue they can develop, and the needs they can meet. There's only so much we can do to change the consequences of past decisions, or ensure justice. Faith and god remove that limitation, and provide hope in a more perfect, permanent progress and happiness than our natural capacity permits. You can find a degree of happiness on your own, but complete happiness requires faith in a perfect being, and hope in life after this one. Happiness being the objective of life, it's wise to give those concepts a full and fair chance.

Whether or not you find the concept of religion appealing, or have valid reason to distrust [supposedly] religious figures or organizations, the underlying promise of religion is still reasonable. There are many accounts of interaction with god throughout history, and currently billions of individual believers. That volume of evidence deserves serious consideration. It is logical. How to know with certainty is a subject for another book, but the most obvious and reasonable solution when you want to know something is to ask. Just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Religion and Science

It's a tragedy that science and religion have remained at odds for thousands of years. Science has positioned itself as "defender of truth," and religion has claimed the role of "defender of virtue." Science has pursued objective, measurable truth, clinging to logic, often with an ironic closed-mindedness toward anything emotional, unseen, self-evident, or that can't be determined with a process science established.

Religion has proclaimed [and with great irony, violently defended] virtue and embraced emotion and belief, frequently at the expense of logic or even obvious truth when it appeared in some way to be in conflict with perceived "doctrine" (ask Galileo or Socrates for information on this subject).

Both science and religion are practiced by people, so both are plagued by vice and inaccuracy. Both have pieces of truth, but resist truth from the other. The greatest skeptics of God tend to be pro-science, and the most closed-minded deniers of scientific discovery tend to be religious zealots. The polarization of science and religion has done exactly what polarization always does—divides people into groups that have only a diminishing portion of the truth and virtue, which then leads to conflict (in this case, thousands of years of mutual persecution).

Science would be improved if it embraced true religion, and religion would improved if it embraced well-supported science. They would both encourage faith for the meaningful action it generates, and condemn the corrosive vice from which both have suffered. Ultimately, the two would no longer be distinct, and the pursuit of truth so natural and integral to life it wouldn't even need a name. Society would be unified in a clear understanding of what is right and good, and consequently a much greater capacity for growth and happiness. Truth and virtue together create what ought to be created, and destroy what ought to be destroyed.

If this book achieves only one thing, it should be to convince everyone that truth is truth regardless of its source, virtue is inherently constructive, all people are people, and well-being matters. Science and religion are completely compatible and necessary, because our goal is not just knowledge or faith, but the fusion of all correct and good things, which leads to a state of happiness. At their core, science and religion are already the same thing: people seeking growth through observation, recording, and analysis. What we observe and record, how accurate our conclusions are, and what we do with that information can vary, but the concept is the same. We become happier as we learn from experience.

–

Life is only productive when we use faith. And, given the immense and potentially eternal impact, no search for happiness is complete without a serious, honest consideration of god and eternity, including sincere reflection on our own experiences, and those of people around us.

Truth is elusive. Virtue is challenging. Faith is difficult. Not knowing is unpleasant. Suffering is hard. Effort and trust are risky. But, as difficult as they are, they're a part of happiness. And misery, which they help avoid, is far worse.

Happiness gives more than it takes, but it does take. It demands sacrifice, self-control, and patience. Misery, on the other hand, is as easy as falling. It avoids strain, investment, uncertainty, faith, discomfort, loneliness, embarrassment, or even thought…temporarily. Anyone can do it. Up front, it's fun and easy, and down the road when that changes, just compensate by piling on more pleasure, right?

While simple enough for most to figure out on their own, included here for your convenience is a simple guide to misery:

1. Give up (on happiness). It's easier. And, easier means better.
2. Give in. You know you want to. What does your conscience know, anyway?
3. Take whatever you want, whenever you want it, and don't give back. You deserve it…somehow.
4. Think only of your own immediate gratification. You don't owe anything to anyone—not even the ones who gave you everything you have.
5. Demand and expect perfect circumstances that never change. Life should be easy. And suffering must be someone else's fault (most likely, someone who loves you and is perfect and all-knowing).
6. Defer costs as long as possible—preferably until you're dead so someone else can deal with them.
7. Procrastinate any real work. Life is short.
8. Don't bother progressing in any way. It's all pointless. Life is cosmically accidental, and ends in empty nothingness, so do whatever you want. Why work at something hard just to get better, then die?
9. Find the easiest path. Everyone else is doing it, which means it's right.
10. Lay back and let entropy, atrophy, and apathy do whatever they want to do. What will be will be. It's fate—or something…
11. Wait for someone else to make you happy. Because that always works.
12. Forget the truth. It's all subjective anyway. You have your own truth.
13. Assume you know everything. Nothing could possibly exist if you don't know about it, and it probably won't exist until you do know about it. And it will stop existing once you forget about it. Because, that's just logic.
14. Assume your perception is always accurate, and your opinion is always right (and more so than anyone else's).
15. Demand to be right. But then disconnect yourself from reality as much as possible.
16. Believe only what you can see and already understand. Or, believe anything sensational and popular and flattering and convenient.
17. Fight anyone who disagrees with you. Or smugly laugh at them, roll your eyes, criticize, or condescend. It's sure to change their mind and prove just how right you are.
18. Focus only on what you do well, and what others do poorly. It's a great way to hide your insecurity.
19. Blame all your failings on circumstance, and others' on character. People surely think you're perfect. Why surprise them?
20. If you notice a flaw in yourself, beat yourself up for it (but don't do anything about it), then hide it by criticizing others for doing the same thing. Offense is the best defense.
21. Hide who you are. You want people to like you, right?
22. Stay exactly as you are. Who cares what other people think?
23. Never ever love anyone. You might have to do or commit to something. And just think of all the pain your loneliness will prevent!
24. Never trust anyone. And it will probably help if they know you distrust them.
25. Never help or try to understand anyone. But expect them to help and try to understand you. Fair only matters if it's in your favor.
26. Expect people to change. But also stay the same—exactly when and how you want them to.
27. Never stop to think. Only stop to stew, stress, dwell on frustrations, and relive your miseries. It's probably productive.
28. Worry about everything, but only in a panicked, irrational, non-constructive way that makes it harder to change anything.
29. Try to not enjoy or focus on anything you're currently doing. How will you enjoy the future without stressing about it now (and also stressing about the future when you get there)?
30. Ignore the future and disregard the past. Just live in the now. Learning and preparation are for boring prudes.
31. Base your self worth on things you can't fully control—like appearance, health, wealth, intelligence, occupation, fame, and public opinion.
32. If you ever find yourself beginning to slip into happiness, remind yourself how much better others have it, of everything you don't have or can't do, then blame it on someone—preferably a person who loves you.
33. When life is hard, assume you're the only person who has ever suffered, and expect everyone to make it up to you. Then, when you do see someone else suffer in the same way, pretend you were never in their shoes, let them suffer alone, and blame them for it. Mocking them would probably help, too.
34. Always find someone to blame. It has to be someone's fault, and there's no way it could be yours.
35. Be afraid (any subject will do). Best of all, be afraid of everyone. But hide that fear with aggression and violence.
36. Trust all your fears, and doubt all your hopes. Better to be constantly miserable than occasionally disappointed.
37. Take no risks. What if it doesn't work out? Or, take huge risks with very little upside, because that's real fun.
38. Make your life a series of increasingly less satisfying pursuits—basically, immediate gratification and anything addictive. Historically, that has worked out really well for everyone.
39. Fill your time with so many wants that you don't have any room for needs. Where possible, make sure your wants conflict with other people's needs. Every man for himself, and whoever dies with the most stuff…wins…something.
40. Above all, make sure your life is a ceaseless carnival of comfort, convenience, self-indulgence, isolation, blissful ignorance, fear, anger, unfounded self-assurance, and immediate reward.

Truth and virtue are easy to avoid. Just make the fastest, easiest, most immediately gratifying decisions you can, and insulate yourself from reality with extreme, biased, sensational, flattering theories and opinions. You'll be miserable in no time. And what's more, you'll have helped provide suffering for everyone around you!

–

It can be easier to recognize truth upside-down (one actual utility of sarcasm). Artists flip drawings over to more clearly see and correct mistakes. Proofreaders study passages backward to achieve better focus on parts of a sentence their brain might otherwise have missed. Turning things around can reveal absurdities in our thoughts and behaviors.

While misery isn't our goal, it is a concerningly common result of our decisions. A closer look at what most directly causes misery also shows the wisdom of the principles that lead to happiness.

Pleasure and Fun

Pleasure keeps winding up next to misery, but to be fair, it isn't inherently destructive. It's just not what we're actually looking for. We can be submerged in pleasure and still feel empty and unsatisfied. We aren't born fully understanding what happiness is, and won't until we actually experience it. People who don't know what happiness is or how to achieve it understandably reach for something similar. But pleasure is a fool's gold that usually comes at a cost—sometimes a very high and even permanent one. Pleasure doesn't satisfy the way happiness does, and it becomes less satisfying with time. Until we learn what happiness is, we simply reach for even more pleasure, and the cost grows. Eventually, you build up a deficit so great that despair takes over.

We get off course when we assume that pleasant paths lead to pleasant destinations. Happiness (like nearly all good things) requires effort, investment, sacrifice, faith, struggle, and patience; even some empathy-generating sadness and pain. It's the difficult path that makes us strong, resilient, and empathetic—that takes us upward. The wisest choice is to pick the right destination, then stick to whatever path leads to it. In the case of happiness, that means not being led off course by pleasures (which in the old days were referred to, very aptly, as "diversions"). You'll still find fun along the way.

Some pleasure is good. In balance, it's constructive. It's frosting on the cake—but it's not the cake. The most concerning issue with pleasure is our tendency to let it replace and prevent actual happiness (like dessert replacing dinner). That can be fixed by simply knowing and doing what it takes to be happy and healthy first. Priorities.

There's certainly such a thing as too much work, sacrifice, or suffering, and it's common for us to end up on that extreme. Wisdom helps us find the right balance.

For those who have no conscious goal or destination in mind, join the rest of us in the pursuit of happiness.

–

At some point, everyone wonders what the point of life is, but miserable people are more likely to wonder if there's a point. That makes sense. If you're miserable, you have missed the point. Life is growth. If you're progressing, you're becoming happy, and have fulfilled the basic purpose of intelligent life. You may be missing some information about the broader picture and might be curious about it, but there's still a sense of peace and satisfaction. Misery is destruction—the opposite of growth—so a miserable life truly doesn't make sense. It's a fundamental contradiction. But it's misery that should end, not life.

Misery usually feels endless and inescapable, but it isn't (though it is easier to avoid than to fix). Have hope that happiness is not only possible, but certain, once you understand and comply with the necessary laws. You may need help, but help is available. Happiness is real. Truth is the map. Virtues are the keys. Suffering is part of everyone's journey. Desire and effort and well-being are critical, and even in exceptional circumstances you can hope for eventual, real, lasting happiness.

Imagine a happy world—one in which we're all reasonable, calm, and can face reality head-on with curiosity and confidence, and where we're all well, cared for, loving, and engaged in making life better for everyone. Imagine yourself being happy, and surrounded by happy people who see all others as equally valuable. Imagine everyone being in a constant state of growth—learning more and becoming better every day, free and able to contribute in unique and meaningful ways. Imagine never having to worry about your needs, never having to fear crime or injustice or criticism, and living with an assurance that you'll be supported in every challenge that comes along. In other words, imagine a world full of truth and virtue.

It took decades of suffering and thought to learn what I've tried to condense into just over 100 pages. As much as I love words, I can't find any that express the value of these truths, or that fully illustrate how helpful they could be to the world. I've intentionally separated myself from the concepts, and tried to present them on their own, objectively and logically, but they're more than just ideas. Try to think of a single problem the world faces that couldn't be resolved or at least significantly improved by united and serious emphasis on truth and virtue. Poverty, hunger, inequality, extremism, conflict, pollution, disease, mental illness, broken families, loneliness… They could all but disappear. That's absolutely idealistic—but also possible. Our inability to imagine it is largely what prevents it.

This book is meant as a personal guide (mostly for my children, who I think deserve to inherit what I've learned in many instances from them), but I hope you'll also recognize it as a common ground for humanity —every belief system, country, culture, and ideology. Is it really too much to hope we can all recognize and agree on the value of truth, virtue, and wellness? I hope not. This isn't religion or [rocket] science. And if we can agree on that, then we have a place from which we can build.

We may look or act differently, but we're far more similar than separate, and we all want the same thing: Happiness. It's not easy to find. If it were, this book would be pointless. But, the growing challenge of identifying truth, the fading expectation of virtue, widespread unwellness, and the almost universal problem of misery show how poorly understood real happiness is. The world as it currently stands is not a happy place. So, what is it about humanity that prevents us from achieving something we all want? Well, it's obviously not a lack of wanting. It's a lack of knowing what we need to understand, being what we need to be, and doing what is required. So, for now, this book has a place. I hope for the day when it's no longer needed. In the meantime, there's more to share—but it wouldn't make sense without this foundation.

Like a message in a bottle, I've thrown this out to sea with the hope that the right people will find it. Like every person who has ever sent a book off into the world I hope it's brilliantly life-changing, but I'm [just barely] grown-up enough to know that most who read this—whether it turns out to be brilliant or not—will put it back on the shelf, walk away, and make no significant change to their life. Change is hard. We're all a bit stubborn about our thoughts and opinions, and are creatures of habit that by nature find the most efficient way to survive. In other words, we do whatever we've always done. But, we're also beings of exceptional intelligence and infinite potential, who crave happiness—not just survival. My hope, at the intersection of those two realities, is that we'll do something. This is a map, so I clearly hope you'll follow it to the treasure at the end. But, progress is good enough for now. Just take a step. Change a little every day. Make an unusual effort.

Where do you start? Learn to love, recognize, and accept truth. Education. Reading. New experiences. Trying to be observant, actively listening and being open-minded and moderate, getting information from many sources, bothering to verify it, and taking time to think and reflect. It's a marathon, not a sprint, so focus on what you can sustain. Life prefers small, incremental improvements to massive, sudden ones. Make learning a daily habit. Eventually, that truth will add up and connect in surprising and important ways.

Pay attention to virtue. Identify the virtues you lack, and work on them. Allow yourself to be inspired and fueled by the virtue in others. Change. Feel. Listen to your conscience, which will generally tell you what you need to know. Trust that virtue, though challenging, is worth the effort. You may not be able to escape the temptation to trade virtues for assets, but you can (and must) ignore it. No asset is worth having that costs you your happiness.

Manage your well-being. Find routines that promote health and progress. Be thoughtful about the complexity of your life. Pay attention to your body and your thoughts. Be aware of your feelings. If your basic needs are met and you still have something left to give, please do. The happiness of billions is held back by inadequate resources, and your assets can help. The more resources you possess, the more control (and therefore responsibility) you have.

Miserable people are identified by their willingness to say and do what is untrue and unkind. That they're unkind shows they're miserable, and therefore wrong—in the most basic and objective way. It's impossible to overstate the destruction caused by those who knowingly distort truth, encourage us to abandon virtue, or promote conflict (which does both). That's a direct attack on happiness, and is always for their personal gain. For everyone's happiness—and to protect yourself—learn to recognize truth, share it, and trust in the power and value of virtue. Trust, follow, and imitate only those who are truthful and kind (to everyone).

A common myth says we all find happiness in our own way. That may simply be people confusing happiness with survival, reducing the idea of happiness to meaningful purpose, or just acknowledging that our paths and circumstances are different. But, thankfully, happiness isn't that random. The process of happiness is consistent and natural and universal. The target doesn't move.

Everything that brings real happiness to you also facilitates the happiness of others. Happy people naturally help and improve everything and everyone within their reach, and the efforts and characteristics that lead to happiness in the first place are equally constructive. When you multiply the power of happiness by the number of people this world holds, it's easy to see how it would solve the world's problems. Individual happiness is the best solution to global misery.

We can't give happiness, but we can give love. We can support people in their suffering, help them achieve well-being, and improve their circumstances enough to place them back within reach of happiness. We can share what we know, share what we have, and be an example of virtue. We can demonstrate real happiness.

The moment we acknowledge happiness as the point of life, everything falls cleanly into place: why we do what we do, the importance of truth, what makes something right or wrong, good or bad… The course of action also becomes clear. As individuals, it's to grow in truth and virtue. As parents, teachers, or leaders, it's to promote truth and virtue (mostly by example). As children, students, or citizens, it's to learn and be guided by truth and virtue, and to require truth and virtue from those who lead us. Those who make, interpret, and enforce law ought to do so with strict dedication to truth and virtue. Every occupation, initiative, organization, and business needs to be founded on truth and virtue. All the struggles of society could be resolved, permanent peace achieved, and well-being ensured, but the only way to get there is through the powerful unity that a shared understanding of reality starts, and that love completes.

Happiness is real, and the laws that lead to it do work. This book is a map that will point you in the right direction. I know, because these principles—shared by other wise people—pointed me in the right direction. The difficult work ahead is up to you, but your challenges can bring progress, and make success even more meaningful. The reward is worth the struggle. Once you've found it, share it.

The cutting makes the statue, the blow forms the blade,
The furnace turns the clay to stone, the pressure casts the jade.
The venture makes the hero, and when the task is done,
It's polished soul, not polished ore, that proves the prize was won.

This chest you've found, and deep inside are riches to behold—
A treasure sought, a treasure won, beyond its weight in gold:
A being now of greater worth, refined, with heart and steel.
Now go and send some hungry soul to seek what I conceal.

I'd usually defend letting readers enjoy and digest a poem at their own speed, taking time to extract and internalize each layer of metaphor as they're ready for it. Forcibly excavating every possible nugget is a job for literature students, and divulging the meaning of a poem is not unlike explaining a joke. I'll admit that as a writer it's tempting to wait and see what significance readers dredge up, because it has the potential to make me look a bit more clever than I actually am. But, the purpose of this book was to take something rarely and barely understood—and uniquely important—and make it as clear as possible. Considering that, and our current, intense desperation for happiness, I think it's time to speed things up a bit and shine some light on valuables that might have been missed. So, I hope you enjoyed the short-lived metaphors.

A treasure chest sat anchored far beneath a twisting tide;
Its siren song sang loud and strong of spoils held deep inside.
Through weary years I'd sought it out o'er seas of calm and storm,
While coral, clam, and barnacle disguised its ancient form.

The protagonist is each of us, searching for happiness (the treasure). It can take many years to find, though it calls constantly to all of us. It's not far away, but likely to only be found by those determined to find it, and who recognize its value in spite of its disguised appearance (it often looks boring, obvious, restrictive, old-fashioned, and unsensational). This takes place at sea, which represents the variability and turbulence of life.

Some seasons past, alone I'd sat and cursed an icy gale,
When a stranger's voice, though old, soon pulled me in with an earnest tale
Of a roiling sea and a row toward shore, waves thrashing, tall and steep,
Then the ship broke, and the tide's grip tugged fast into the deep.

We all go through storms (challenges), but some are able to be happy in spite of them, while others struggle. Those who find happiness usually do so through [often many years of] difficult, painful, overwhelming experience that takes them to places they wouldn't have chosen to go…

In waning light their eye caught sight of an object in the sand,
So against the churn this stranger fought, and seized it with a hand.
A chest they'd found—fixed firm by time—then they quickly rose for air,
But eyed the shore and marked the spot, to seek the treasure there.

but, it's in those depths of suffering that they look a bit closer, fight a bit harder, and get their first glimpse of happiness. Importantly, happiness doesn't move. It remains where it has always been, because it's based on realities that don't change.

Outstretched they held a yellowed map, well worn from ocean faring,
Its sparse lines sketched where to find the shoreline and the bearing.
The chest, they said, held riches more than a single soul could spend,
So the map was mine, with a kindly nod, and I thanked my new-found friend.

The happy can't give happiness, but they can share their story, and the time-tested truth (yellowed map) that led them to happiness. Truth is like a map, in that it's simple and accurate, but only beneficial to those who follow it. And happiness can't be exhausted. It only grows as it's shared. Real friends are those who share what they can to support the happiness of others.

Then time had past, as I rowed and dove, till pain gave way to pleasure,
And I found at last the blessed chest which held the ancient treasure.
That sturdy box, still mortared fast by crusted shells and rocks,
Had a rusty lid with a checkered grid—and a hundred simple locks.

We don't usually find happiness immediately, even if we stick to the truth, but in the process of trying we do make progress and find some joy. Life gets better. Ultimately, we get to where we need to be (the treasure is fixed in place, so we have to come to it, where it is and will always be), but getting to the chest isn't enough. Unlocking happiness isn't done by simply knowing the truth, or doing certain things. It's reserved for those who become a certain type of person. Each virtue helps unlock happiness. There are many, and every one is important.

Back home I rowed that night, with empty hands and troubled head.
No key was shared with the map…though, perhaps, I could make each one instead.
For a hundred dives I read each lock as long as lungs could stand,
And home I went, and months I spent molding key after key by hand.

It's confusing and frustrating to feel like you've done everything you were supposed to do, and still aren't happy. You might doubt those who pointed you in the right direction. However, it's a simple fact that they can't give you virtue. They can't make you the kind of person you need to become. But, you can. One by one, you can develop each virtue. They're not complicated. You can figure them all out. It just takes time and effort.

Then I rowed and dove with cheer and hope and the heft of a hundred keys
To pull me straight to the chest where I sank on anxious hands and knees.
I swiftly worked, and jerked the lid when I'd turned the final locks,
And shimmering sand and bubbles swirled like gold dust ‘round the box.

Virtues give you confidence, hope, and strength. They lead you—even pull you—directly to where happiness is. You will find yourself on hands and knees, adequately humble, right where you need to be, and able to unlock happiness.

But the chest was bare—no treasure there on its strangely polished base,
So I looked inside and all I saw was my hopeful, searching face.
Then a golden gleam ensnared my eye from the ancient, lifted lid—
A shining script, a gilded verse…the gift the old box hid:

Happiness isn't wealth. It isn't fame or reputation or influence. It's not beauty or strength, or perfect health. It might not contain any of the things you imagined it would, or thought you wanted. Hence the empty chest. Happiness is a reflection and clear understanding of who you are and the progress you've made (the polished insides). It's feeling your own growth.

"The cutting makes the statue, the blow forms the blade,
The furnace turns the clay to stone, the pressure casts the jade.
The venture makes the hero, and when the task is done,
It's polished soul, not polished ore, that proves the prize was won.

We hate the pain and struggle we think holds us back from the happiness we want. But, it's the pain, the suffering, the sadness, the struggle, and the hard-won experience (the cutting, the blow, the furnace, the pressure, and the venture) that turns us into something exceptional—something beautiful, useful, durable, and valuable (statue, blade, stone, and jade). It's what you are (polished soul), not what you have (polished ore) that produces happiness.

This chest you've found, and deep inside are riches to behold—
A treasure sought, a treasure won, beyond its weight in gold:
A being now of greater worth, refined, with heart and steel.
Now go and send some hungry soul to seek what I conceal."

The reward of all that difficulty—if we respond properly to it—is a powerful and lasting happiness, stemming from changes deep within us (understanding and virtue). That's worth more than anything else we could have wanted. It's what every hungry soul actually wants, whether or not they realize it. The best thing we can do is guide them in the right direction.

A treasure chest with a hundred locks awaits below the sea,
It's riches there for all who seek the wealth it brings to me.
So now I wait, and watch, and hope for souls who thirst for more,
A map to share, to guide them where the chest's not far from shore.

Happiness is waiting for everyone, right where it always was and will always be. The requirements are the same for everyone. There's no limit to how many people can enjoy it, so once you've found it yourself, guide the seeking souls to it. It's not far out of reach—they just need to know where and how to look.

–

Most metaphors break when stretched too far, and these are no exception.Happy people aren't always old. Catastrophe isn't always necessary to discover happiness. Happiness isn't only unlocked when we have every last virtue—it grows incrementally as we progress and gain knowledge. When unlocked, it's not in any way disappointing (by then we understand what it won't contain). So, take this poem for what it was meant to be, and it may help you find what you're looking for.

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